PREDICTIONS? PROBLEMS?

ASK

click link below

ACCURATE PSYCHIC EMAIL PHONE READING

FAMOUS PSYCHIC CLAIRVOYANT

Comments

  1. Dear Anonymous,
    First of all I must ask how old are you? Why do I ask? Well let me say we just need to work on your spelling just a tad bit. Secondly, This man already has a wife and it does not matter if they are sleeping in seprate beds or not. Your mad that your sister is chatting with him, well you should be mad at yourself. You are a woman who should dignify herself as respectable and to be talking to a man who is married, and no less has a child, is not respectable. What would your mom think if you were talking with a married man? If he says that he wants to have sex with you and have a baby with you you need to reconsider this man. He maybe a good catch, but look what he is doing to his wife. Do you not think he wont cheat with you? Girl just get over this man and move on he is not even worth your time.
    Love Dearly,
    Angela

    (Posted on 2016-07-24 05:51:00 by )
  2. Thank you for taking the time to write, we all need advice from time to time. In your letter you said that your boyfriend loves and belongs to you, he’s a good catch, and EXTREMELY attractive. When you belong to someone it feels great doesn’t it? Like life is perfect and you will always be safe because you have that person by your side. When a man belongs only to you, he would never put himself in a situation that would make you think otherwise. He would never allow another woman to get close enough to him to kiss him or do anything else romantic or sexual, because he belongs only to you. He would protect his relationship with you, because you are his heart. Your sister was allowed to kiss your boyfriend because he’s made it clear that he is not committed to anyone, but himself. He may say that he loves you, but love is an action word. Love proves itself.
    My advice for you is two fold, first talk with your sister. Tell her of your hurt and anger, then find a way to work together to mend this tear in your relationship. It may take some time, but you can learn to trust your sister again. Second, let go you this guy who is willing to cheat not only on his wife, but on you. Your heart and relationship with your sister is worth so much more than what your boyfriend is giving you. Remember, you deserve a man that is committed only to you. Keep us updated on your progress with your sister, and don’t hesitate to write again if you need any more advice.

    Always,
    Leslie Autumn

    (Posted on 2016-07-23 17:45:00 by )
  3. I think you need to sit down with your sister, address the problem to her and tell her how you feel and ask her why she is doing it and try to get to the root of her behaviour she has with him also tell her that she will find someone for her one day. You should also have a word with your boyfriend and ask him why he kissed her back and you should take a break away from your boyfriend because if he can cheat on his wife he can do it to you and you don't want to get hurt and just think on the break you might just find someone who is just as good as him also think how his wife feels if she found out and he done the same thing to you. You and your sister should travel together and get your sisterly bond back and think how much better and refreshed you would feel.

    I hope this advice helped,
    Shannon J

    (Posted on 2016-07-22 21:57:00 by )
  4. You have to ask yourself one question, since you owe that much to yourself before you owe him any benefit of the doubt: Do you deserve to be shared with another women? If the answer is no, then you should end whatever it is that you have with him. It is often the case that a man (since its a mans world) often takes advantage of situations that leave a women vulnerable. At the moment nothing is in your hands but everything is in your power to be changed. Your sister is an irrelevant factor at the moment. The guy needs to show by all means that he is devoted to you and no one else. So you need to get your priorities straight. Ask him questions that you turn towards websites or social media. You don’t want to end up being his baby mama and then have no one to take care of your kid! It is often the case that we neglect ourselves when we are in such difficult situations, but my advise to you would be to put this guy and your sister aside for a while. Take a week off to yourself. Now i know that seems hard but believe it or not, you don’t have to do anything in this week. Just relax and think for yourself. Soon it will click in that a man or anyone else in this world that does not prioritise you does not deserve to be in your life. You must put your needs first, give yourself self-love and there is a chance that you will grow and come out to be a stronger person at the end of this situation and might be able to guide your sister as well. From what we can tell at the moment, he cannot be trusted so you must take the first steps to make sure that you are not left to pick up the mess.

    (Posted on 2016-07-20 16:36:00 by )
  5. The first thing I would do is to try to talk calmly with your man about what he has done and why? Then I would try to talk calmly to your sister about what has occurred. It would be a shame if perhaps a one off silly moment could jeopardise the relationship you have with your sister. I think you need to ask your man if he will be leaving his wife as clearly, if he doesn't there is no future in a relationship between you and this man. He has other commitments, his baby, and really should be waking up to those commitments. It sounds like you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I know it sounds hard and perhaps something you don't want to consider at the moment, but I think you would be better off finding someone nearer your own age you doesn't have these ties and then I am sure you will be a whole heap happier. I hope my advise will help you on your way to making the correct decision for yourself.

    (Posted on 2016-07-20 16:23:00 by )
  6. Well darling, If he is talking to your sister and you and him is low key at this point dont get mad at your sister be mad at him. He doesn't seem to value yours and his relationship if he is doing this to your sister imagine how many else are there. The best route to take is to have a one on one talk with him and maybe cut ties. You have to value and know your worth and not tolerate him. It is going to be hard yes but he is wrong just as she was. She threw herself at him and he didnt dodge her if a man who claims to love you wouldn't in no way, shape or form will hurt you. As a sister she was wrong and its okay to be mad at her but don't let you guys sisterhood break over this one guy. Family is most important than any guy. Tell her how much she hurt you and try to talk it out with her the best you can. Yes she was wrong and its going to take some time for you to overcome that pain but remember she is your sister. I wish you all the luck in this situation and hope it helped some.

    (Posted on 2016-07-20 15:11:00 by )
  7. Dear my sister kissed my boyfriend,
    There are a few red flags to your problem. One you have feelings for a man that is married, he has not only tried to be sexual with you, but also your sister. I know you have feelings and this situation is hard for you and that your sister over stepped her bounderies, but this has a true message to you. Perhaps you should look at it as if you were the one married to him. Would you want your husband doing this, regardless of what he says is going on at home? If he can betray your trust by sharing a kiss with your sister, who is to say he isn't lying about his situation at home? Also, can you live with the idea of having a child with a man who isn't going to leave his wife because of they child they share, how is that fair to you and your child? As much as it hurts, you should cut ties now and move on, before getting hurt anyworse. There is an old saying, once a cheat...always a cheat. In a way hasn't he already done that to you...it takes two..it's not just your sister at fault here.
    I wish you luck in what ever decision you make with this horrible situation.

    (Posted on 2016-07-19 12:23:00 by )
  8. Dear Anonymous;
    First of all, make sure this man truly loves you as much as he says he does. Second of all, are you prepared to be in a relationship with a married man? Don't get caught up in the fairytale idea that he is going to leave his wife and child for you. It comes with a lot of trials and tribulations, it may seem like an exciting experience now but no one wants to see you get hurt. Last of all, I think you should sit down with him and your sister and have a honest conversation about what you saw. To gain respect you need to give it and holding grudges is not the right way to sort this out. If both your sister and your boyfriend love you they will respect you enough to leave each other alone.
    I care only for your happiness and your well being and wish you all the best, I hope it all works out for you!
    -J. x

    (Posted on 2016-07-18 16:00:00 by )
  9. Whenever feelings are tangled up into a situation it makes our minds struggle to see the bigger picture as naturally we follow our hearts but the mind should agree to allow the heart to flourish. I feel you are assessing the situation with only your heart and the heart is vulnerable and longs for another where as the head can see things clearer and is more practical. The head is less likely to be fooled. Try putting yourself in your sister shoes she had no idea about your relationship so should you be angry at a betrayal she doesn’t know she’s committed? Then put yourself in your boy friends wife’s shoes. Would you live a happy life being with a man that is saying he doesn’t love you to another women while you sit at home with a child? There is a great saying actions speak louder than words and from the actions your boyfriend has chosen do they really clarify the words he has spoken to you? Would you really be happy having a baby and a life with this man while he leads another one with his wife? Everyone should be the lead of there own story. Are you the lead of yours Or are you a shadow of someone else’s?

    (Posted on 2016-07-15 12:33:00 by )
  10. Whenever feelings are tangled up into a situation it makes our minds struggle to see the bigger picture as naturally we follow our hearts but the mind should agree to allow the heart to flourish. I feel you are assessing the situation with only your heart and the heart is vulnerable and longs for another where as the head can see things clearer and is more practical. The head is less likely to be fooled. Try putting yourself in your sister shoes she had no idea about your relationship so should you be angry at a betrayal she doesn’t know she’s committed? Then put yourself in your boy friends wife’s shoes. Would you live a happy life being with a man that is saying he doesn’t love you to another women while you sit at home with a child? There is a great saying actions speak louder than words and from the actions your boyfriend has chosen do they really clarify the words he has spoken to you? Would you really be happy having a baby and a life with this man while he leads another one with his wife? Everyone should be the lead of there own story. Are you the lead of yours Or are you a shadow of someone else’s?

    (Posted on 2016-07-15 12:33:00 by )
  11. Dear anonymous,
    Firstly, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now, what an awful experience for you. But I will remind you the saying, it takes two to tango. Perhaps the fact him and his wife don't get on has caused him to inflict this negative on you, yet this is no excuse. Maybe the age difference shows how you may want different things, however I do believe if he's mature enough to have a child then he should be mature enough to look after your relationship. Regardless, I feel there are a few things that must be done in order for your relationship to work and before any rash decisions like a baby become underway. I can assure you in all relationships honesty is the best policy and is the best way to gain trust, a relationship won't work without it. I think you need to sit down and speak to both your sister and boyfriend and evaluate what happened. Ask questions like, how and why did this happen? Why do you think this is okay? What will change in order for both relationships to progress? And anything else rushing through your head, any unanswered questions. Depending on how both respond is the next step. If you feel like you can trust him then I suggest move forwards but set boundaries for your relationship to work. However, I must remind you a man isn't decent if he cheats my lovely. Don't be hard on yourself as it seems you've put a lot of time and effort into this relationship, but take things slowly. I feel that if he is the good catch you believe him to be he will wait for sex and children until you're back into the good place in your relationship again. Be honest with him your sister and yourself to decide what's best for you emotionally, (being a bit selfish now and then doesn't hurt ;) ). In regards to your relationship with your sister, tell her this is not okay. Let her know how you felt seeing that and ask her how she would feel in your position, the saying treat others how you want to be treated goes a long way sweetie. Perhaps spending time together after clearing the air with her (if you decide to forgive her) will be a good idea to get that sister bond back and allow you to gain that well needed quality time with eachother. Learn to forgive and don't hold grudges, it never does any favours. However really let her know how she hurt you, and allow her to graft to prove how sorry she is, after all she is too in the wrong as well as your boyfriend. In fact, they both owe you the respect to go nowhere near eachother in that sense no matter the attraction. Use this circumstance as a turning point for you and as a lesson in which you can learn from. I don't believe a baby is best for you right now, wait till your have rebuilt your relationship in all senses and then the decision is yours, he needs to be faithful before you can trust him with another life. The best ways to build your relationship are time and effort on equal parts- spend more time together but still give eachother space as a chance to recharge, relax and create the oppurtunity of missing one another. Not only this but if you carry on in your relationship, give him a chance to prove himself and let him come to you. Let him graft and work for you as he should be doing everything possible to regain your trust if he loves you and sees a future with you. If you feel he's right for you then persevere with your relationship as a decent man and soul mate can be hard to find, but remember not to let him get away with it, If i was you girly I wouldn't put all the blame on your sister as she will always be there for life but have some time to yourself to think before you can forgive her or talk about it. When you feel you're ready go for that sister bonding time I mentioned earlier, it should work wonders but understandably you won't be ready right now. Time is a good healer.
    With kind regards and best wishes. Please keep in touch with future details, your agony aunt Xxx

    (Posted on 2016-07-13 23:36:00 by )
  12. Dear "Chatting Up my Boyfriend,"
    I can tell this is making you really upset; it's especially painful to be on bad terms with someone close like a sister. You're wondering how to get her to stop chasing your boyfriend, so first, let's take a step back and look realistically at that situation. It takes two to kiss, so she is not the only responsible person there. He participated, and apparently, willingly. Also, if she is chatting him up, how does he respond to that? Does he seem to enjoy it? If he seems receptive to your sister's attentions, it's time you had a good heart-to-heart talk with her. See if you can figure out if her attentiion toward him is all one-sided on her part, or if he is open to them. If you find out that your man is liking your sister in a romantic way, then you have some thinking to do about your future with him. He's not being trustworthy.
    You did not ask me about this second topic, but in my concern for you, I will briefly mention this to you as well. Is your boyfriend going behind his wife's back to have a romantic relationship with you? If not, great! When is the divorce? (He will get to see the baby plenty.) If he is going behind her back... not so good. In that case it's very possible that his marriage isn't as bad as he says, and he may be leading you on just so you'll have sex with him. Not only that, but if, in talking to your sister, you find trhat he is a willing participant in flirting with her, that tells you that he is a man prone to being unfaithful to anyone. He may have many other good qualities, but your getting mixed up with someone who cannot be faithful will eventually lead to a lot of heart-break for you.
    Bottom line, I would advise you to talk honestly with your sister, and then with your boyfriend, as well. You deserve to have the truth from both of them, so you can make the best decisions for your own life and future happiness.

    (Posted on 2016-07-13 18:02:00 by )
  13. Dear Lost in Love,
    First of all thankyou for writing and being brave enough to share your story. So the main problem I can take from your post is your anger and upset towards your sister - you need to realise that it takes two to tango, and as much as your sister is in the wrong, so is your man. Your sister is oblivious to your feelings towards this man as stated above she does not know you want to have a baby together. Therefore my advice to you would be to sit down together and explain why you are hurting to her, let her know how deep your feelings are for this man and explain the situation. The more someone understands your feelings, the less likely they are to hurt you especially your sister. I can only assume you and your sister normally have a good relationship? If so, then take the time to explain and give her a chance to apologise. But whilst you do this - remember it is your man who knows his feelings for you and went on to kiss your sister. It is perhaps him you need to talk to moreso. In terms of your relationship with the gentleman in question it is apparent he has a wife and child - does she know about your relationship with her husband? If he is keeping you a secret, as much as he may love you it is not fair on you or the wife. If this man of yours wants to start a family with you also, will he leave his wife for you? And will he provide? These are all questions you need to sit down and talk to him about. As much as you are in love, I can tell - you have to think of yourself and your family if you were to go on and start one together. If he has already started seeing someone behind his wifes back, and has gone on to kiss your sister behind your back - you have to think will you end up in the same situation his wife is currently - because as with her, it is not fair on you. I respect completly him wanting to support and be there for his child but if his heart is not in the relationship but with you, you need to hear him say this and prove it. Once you have spoken to your man and cleared up his feelings and where you stand with him, then again recite this to your sister, whilst you may have alot of anger towards her, if she knew more about your relationship then she would be more inclined to have respect for both your partner, your relationship and your future together. I hope this has helped. I think you have alot of questions to ask both yourself and your partner before you tackle your situation with your sister. And just remember you are important and deserve to be number one in this man's life so make sure he puts you there.
    Look after you,
    Your Helping Hand.

    (Posted on 2016-07-12 19:58:00 by )
  14. Dear Love Triangle-
    You have gotten yourself in to quite a predicament; and a few your statements are both puzzling and very concerning.
    First and foremost, a partner is not an object and there is no possession when in a romantic relationship. A romantic relationship should consist of two equal counterparts that love each other. Without equality, you cannot achieve true harmony in a romantic relationship.
    With that being said, I am concerned with the relationship with the wife. While he may say that he is estranged from his wife, his behavior indicates this may not be the case. It is very possible that he is lying to you about their relationship. If he honestly wanted a relationship with you, he would not be trying to seek a physical relationship with your sister. This tells me that he really is only in it for sex and is not as vested in this relationship as you are.
    And him engaging your sister romantically, is a red flag and the most troubling part. Your sister may be engaging in this behavior for a myriad of reasons. Is she only engaging because he is forceful with his courting and hard to resist? Is she doing it because she lacks self-esteem created from bad relationships? Is she purposely coming onto him to spite you? Or is she really that self-absorbed and narcissistic that she just doesn’t care who she hurts?
    In order to address your sister and stop the behavior, you need to communicate with her. You need to find out the reasons for her behavior. Maybe her behavior is a cry for help or attention, but you will never know until you start the dialogue. And your relationship with your sister is more important than anything else. You can’t just get her to “stop” without addressing the issue first. Talk to her. And always remember, actions speak louder than words.

    (Posted on 2016-07-08 20:13:00 by )
  15. Part 2

    ... he is just playing around and he doesn´t care how much he could hurt you by getting involved with a member of your family.

    Now to your sister: You say that it hurts you that she wants to be with him. But don´t you think he should be the person to be mad with? Because he cheated on you and kissed her. I am saying this because you wrote that she doesn´t know about him telling you that he loves you, wanting to have sex with him and have a baby... which leads me to the assumption that she might not know at all that you guys are kind of dating? If not, you shouldn´t wait tell he right away... if she really doesn´t know about you guys, she is somehow not to blame because she is not betraying you. But then you wrote that she wants to steal him from you which sounds as if she knew about you being in love and involved with him- this would be a terrible thing to do as a sister and something to judge. But even if this is he case, a family bond is strong and you can get trough this, if you talk about everything and she stops her behavior. No matter- you should go and talk to her right away. Talking ist the key to your problem with her. Explain her that she is hurting your feelings with her behavior. And then you should tell her everything else about him as well- about him being married etc. because she thinks he is a good catch. He is not and this is an important thing you gotta understand, honey. Besides that, a sister is way more important than any random guy not treating you the way you deserve and I really hope you girls are gonna have a long talk and sort this out. He is not worth that you fall out with each other! I am sure your sister loves you and wants you to be happy somehow and I really hope she will stop hitting on him. Then you both girls should go out together and celebrate life without such a jerk (excuse my choice of words). None of you need him in your life.

    I really hope things with your sister will turn out for the best. And I am sure you will find a great guy soon that is worth all your effort and love- a guy that is not yet married and only wants to be with you. As soon as you cut off things with your current guy and move on with your life, this special guy will appear, it only might take while. But it´s gonna be worth the wait, I promise.

    All the best for you!

    (Posted on 2016-07-06 13:01:00 by )
  16. Dear sad sister,

    I am sorry to hear that you are currenty in a situtation that makes you feel unhappy. But I think it´s time for tough love here. Let´s face the facts.

    I know you came here for advice what to do with your sister trying to steal your boyfriend. But I think it´s necessary first to have closer look at this guy you want to be with so bad- because I can tell you Sweety, you deserve so much better than him!

    The guy you are in love with is married. He has a family and even if he and his wife sleep in seperate rooms and are not having sex anymore, he cheats on her. Because he wasn´t honest and told her about you, am I right? I have to say that all this is really not a very good characteristic trait of his. And maybe his wife would maybe be better off without him- but this is another topic and I am here to help you and not her. You wrote that he doesn´t have the guts to end his marriage because of the little one. This sounds like a responsible and caring father in the first place but then you added that he wants to have a child with you as well, which is just totally selfish, immature (even if he is way older than you) and cruel towards his child in this situation. And how would this turn out? Even if he says that he loves you, I have to say his action says different. A guy can tell you a thousand timest hat he loves you but when his actions don´t resemble this, it´s getting difficult. So, if you guys would have a child together, how could this work out? He says he can´t leave her because of their kid and canßt really commit to you becauseof it... but what if you guys are having on together as well? All his behavior doesn´t make any sense at all. Do you really wanna have a man´s baby when he is someone someone who is betraying everyone around him? One could assume that he is maybe not a really good human being and I have to say he is not be worth your love and attention anyway, so you really shouldn´t be with him. I am sure you are a smart, beautiful girl inside-out and you are not in the need of such a person because you are way better. And if you change your perspective, how would you feel if you would be in his wife´s shoes? She might think they´re gonna make it work again some day... but that´s not important now because I am for sure not going to judge you because you are on love with a married man, don´t get me wrong. Love is crazy and we really can´t choose who we fall in love with because we can´t control how we feel. But we can try to look at our feelings and learn from them and grow. That´s what I advise you to do.

    Besides the fact that he is still married and tell you he loves you, he tries to hook up with your sister (!). He is just playing around and he doesn´t care how much he could hurt you by getting involved with a member of your family.

    Now to your sister: You say that it hurts you that she wants to be with him. But don´t you think he should be the person to be mad with? Because he cheated on you and kissed her. I am saying this because you wrote that she doesn´t know about him telling you that he loves you, wanting to have sex with him and have a baby... which leads me to the assumption that she might not know at all that you guys are kind of dating? If not, you shouldn´t wait tell he right away... if she really doesn´t know about you guys, she is somehow not to blame because she is not betraying you. But then you wrote that she wants to steal him from you which sounds as if she knew about you being in love and involved with him- this would be a terrible thing to do as a sister and something to judge. But even if this is he case, a family bond is strong and you can get trough this, if you talk about everything and she stops her behavior. No matter- you should go and talk to her right away. Talking ist the key to your problem with her. Explain her that she is hurting your feelings with her behavior. And then you should tell her everything else about him as well- about him being married etc. because she thinks he is a good catch. He is not and this is an important thing you gotta understand, honey. Besides that, a sister is way more important than any random guy not treating you the way you deserve and I really hope you girls are gonna have a long talk and sort this out. He is not worth that you fall out with each other! I am sure your sister loves you and wants you to be happy somehow and I really hope she will stop hitting on him. Then you both girls should go out together and celebrate life without such a jerk (excuse my choice of words). None of you need him in your life.

    I really hope things with your sister will turn out for the best. And I am sure you will find a great guy soon that is worth all your effort and love- a guy that is not yet married and only wants to be with you. As soon as you cut off things with your current guy and move on with your life, this special guy will appear, it only might take while. But it´s gonna be worth the wait, I promise.

    All the best for you!

    The guy you are in love with is married. He has a family and he cheats on his wife. I have to say that this is really not a very good characteristic trait of his. And maybe his wife would maybe be better off without him- but this is another topic and I am here to help you and not her. You wrote that he doesn´t have the guts to end his marriage because of the little one. This sounds as a responsible and caring father in the first place but then you added that he wants to have a child with you as well.which
    Do you really wanna be together with someone who is betraying everone around him? Besides the fact that one could say that he is not acting like a good human being and might not be worth your love and attention anyway, you shouldn´t force to be with him. I am sure you are a beautiful girl inside-out and you are not in the need of such a person because you are way better. And if you change your perspective, how would you feel if you would be in his wife´s shoes? I am not here to judge you because you are on love with a married man, don´t get me wrong. Love is crazy and we really can´t choose who we fall in love with because we can´t control how we feel. But we can try to look at our feelings and learn from them. You say that it hurts you that he trys to hook up with your sister. I have to say, t

    (Posted on 2016-07-06 12:57:00 by )
  17. Dear My Sister is Chatting Up My Boyfriend,

    You introduce your problem as being directed towards your sister for chatting up your boyfriend. Understandably, this is a sticky situation and undoubtedly painful. However, it seems to me that the issue is a product of poor communication from all parties involved.

    Your boyfriend is married to another woman. While I am sure he does love you, he has not resolved his relationship with his wife. He is a father, a husband, and a boyfriend, and is unable to commit himself fully to one person without tension from another. It does happen where a married couple decides to stay together for the child, but both agree to see other people. This is fine as long as it is agreed upon by both spouses. If this is their arrangement, have you asked yourself if this is something that you are okay with? If marriage is something you want to have with this person, understand that this may not be in the cards.

    You say that your sister does not know that this man wants to have a child with you, but you mention that she is trying to steal him away from you. If she does not know the level of committment that you and your boyfriend share, then it is time to sit her down and have an honest conversation. Tell her that you are in love with this man and that you want a future with him. If she respects you, she will understand and stop pursuing him. If she does not understand and continues to engage with him, then it is time to walk away from the man. You cannot stop your sister from behaving inappropriately, but you can choose to walk away from a man that chooses to follow her.

    Best of luck,
    Mary

    (Posted on 2016-07-01 19:12:00 by )
  18. Dear in Solution,

    May I appeal to your heart to maintain the cool it supposed, for your expressions really prove how upset you have been. It is true that your Sister is playing a hide and cheats game which she does not care how hurtful it is to you, because she is trying to satisfy her ego. In this case, you should follow up this matter in a matured way. Do not scandalize your sister in the first place; for she is as human as you are, and needs the comfort and warmth from a man's heart. She needs affection and care just like every other person does.
    I would not that you apportion blames, neither to your sister nor your boyfriend rather; be at your decision; judging from the facts that, he enjoys and accepts her actions. He also appreciates the person of your sister, not withstanding that he has an affair with you. He appears to be a love gambler, not save for any serious heart. He likes you but does not know how to go about his choice.
    Even when you love him and asserted he belongs to you, there is nothing you could do when someone you cherish most should at least betrays your heart of love. You cannot offer up your neck to be slitted just because of the love you thought you have found.
    It does not mean he doesn't love you, neither do I suggest that wise. But his action of kissing your sister should enable your shock absorber ready for resistance. You are not alone in this matter hence; do not hawk your personality for a thing you could procure somewhere else. You are not a loser in this matter, for the best is ahead of your searching.
    Take courage and hope for a lover who is lurking somewhere in the nearby Love Shop, trying to receive the appreciation of your heart. Good luck in your love adventure, but do not forget the fact that you have your personality to protect, even while in the midst of the seeking hearts.

    (Posted on 2016-06-30 01:29:00 by )
  19. Dear hopeful mistress,

    This is full of complications and I am sorry this situation has occured. They do say everything happens for a reason and I believe this to be true. I believe that this could be a way to find out more about yourself and could be a possibility to help the bond between you and your sister if you choose the best course of action. Growing up, my mom use to tell me "if he does it with you, he will do it to you" thats not to say this man doesn't truly love you because lets me honest, you are a complete catch right? You say hes a catch and I believe you, he caught you, he caught your sister, he also caught his wife. One thing I think alot of people forget is when you love someone or some one has your eye, you have absolutely zero desire for anyone else.The thing that would make me nervous, is the fact that he hasn't left his wife and is now allowing the attraction with a family member to become innappropriate. How could you ever truly trust him after the sight that cant be unseen of your sister and him.

    Say you win this man over with your natural charm and beauty, at what risk would you take this love? You may need to forfeit the relationship with your sister? Ask your self if your able to do that? Also ask your self if your able to trust this man around any one of your friends? If the answer is no, than I believe you should re-evaluate the situation with this man. Love is complicated, but you have to have communication and trust to make the foundations work in the way love. I also fear that the issue between you and your sister would also leave resentment which could bare down the foundation you try to build on.
    The beauty of this life is that you have the freedom to follow your heart. Love is blinding, so dont let it trick you.

    I also want you to remember that there is a man out there that is desperatley searching for you. He may not know what it is hes looking for yet but he knows once he sees you, and wins you over, he will never let a doubt cross your mind about how perfect you are to him. Dont lose your worth, and dont let a man rob you of your family or dignity. No one is perfect, keeping all these in mind, I hope you find what your looking for.

    Until next time

    TJ

    (Posted on 2016-06-29 17:36:00 by )
  20. Dear Troubled Sister,
    I am very sorry to hear about the problems between yourself and your sister. Family disagreements are always very difficult on the members and more hurtful than many are prepared to admit. With your sister, I suggest that you both sit down and talk about what exactly your feelings are towards this man, yours and hers. You both should discuss what he may have told you both as well. This situation seems to be very volatile. The man is married, yet he is with you as well as kissing your sister. I understand that he has told you he loves you and wants to have a baby with you. You are in love. You feel you deserve a future with this man. I would suggest that you take a good, long, and hard look at your situation and truly think about the odds of having a successful, long-lasting and faithful relationship with this man. Men can change, they really can, if they feel a strong enough desire. Do you think that this man feels a strong enough desire to grow and change to become a better person for you? Can you honestly say to yourself, that this man who cheats on his wife as well as his girlfriend will become a good man to make a future with? Because there are many men out there who prefer to manipulate women into mindsets that suit their wants and needs. This man may not even have the kind of home situation that he has told you, and you should consider this possibility. Your sister may be talking and making out with him, but it takes two to make that choice. A good man would not want to cause problems between the woman he loves and her sister, no matter how tempted. If you can look at your entire situation and truly think that he loves you and only you, then speak with your sister and ask her to stop making advances towards your boyfriend and I wish you happiness in your future. I only ask that you truly think about what I have written. Good luck and I hope things work out well for you in the end.

    (Posted on 2016-06-28 19:42:00 by )
  21. Dear Destressed Sister,
    I am sorry to hear that you have been placed into this position, it is never a good thing when siblings fight. However I do urge you to reconsider the situation as a whole. Gathering from your message it has become apparant to me that he has a wife and child, and is telling you that they sleep in seperate rooms but are you sure this is the entire truth? along with the statement he has made about staying with her for the benefit of their child. I can tell that you have strong feelings for this man as you claim him as yours, however you can not avoid the fact that he is a married man. Have you spoken to your sister about this situation? anger can cloud peoples judgements, and it is never a good idea to say things in the heat of the moment. Once words are said they can not be taken back! You have stated that he must love you because he tells you this alot but that makes me question what he has been saying to your sister? As you are her sister you will know her better than he will. Is this something that she would really do? Try to ruin your happiness by trying to steal someone you have strong affections for. I say this because you said your sister does not know that he wants to have sexual relations with you, and to make a baby so to her it could come across as there is nothing going on between the two of you. I respect the fact you will be feeling hurt, distressed, angry and confused but I need to take you back to the fact he has a wife. Technically, he doesn't belong to you or your sister. His loyalty should be with the woman that he married, and already has a child with. Gathering from what you have gave me, this man does not sound worthy of you or your sister. Does not even sound worthy of the lady he is married to! 10 years can be a big age gap, as that is 10 years more experience than you have. Did he kiss your sister first? Did they mean to kiss? I suggest that you sit down and talk to them both. Tell them how you are feeling, and do not bottle up any emotions. Letting go of anger is sometimes the release that people need! however if you feel the situation becomes to heated, stand back, count to 10 and remember why you are doing, what you are doing.

    I would also urge you to keep in mind that you are not accountable for anyone elses action, but your own. This man sounds like a bit of a ladies man! which makes me wonder if it is just you and your sister that he is playing around with. There are so many possibilities for this situation, it may very well be he is a decent man! and there is problems with his wife back at home, and your sister may very well have thrown herself at him. You do however need to consider it takes two to tango! I think you should talk to them, see what they have to say but always put yourself first. Putting yourself first is not anything to be ashamed of, sometimes in these situations we have to be selfish to protect our own hearts from breaking! Baring in mind she is your sister, she is your family and nobody ever wants to believe their own blood would betray or hurt them but it happens. All we can do is look forward and keep searching for our own happiness.
    I hope you get the results you are looking for, and again I am sorry you were placed in this situation. Best Wishes! XOXO

    (Posted on 2016-06-25 08:43:00 by )
  22. Dear Fake Problem,
    Sorry to hear you are going through what sounds like a very tough and complicated relationship at the moment. There seems to be a number of issues in your message so I hope that this response covers all bases.
    Regarding your sister, you seem very upset that she is coming onto your guy and was angry with her kissing him. However, you also state that she is unaware of what this guy has said to you. How can you be angry with your sister if she is unaware of your feelilngs towards this man? I think you need to sit down and talk to your sister about how you feel about this guy, and why you got angry with her when you caught them kissing. If she then continues to pursue it then you would have reason to be angry, and you would need to channel this anger into further conversation with her, or may even have to try reducing contact betweenthis guy and your sister.
    The other aspect I have picked up on from your message is that though you don't appear to be angry with this man, he appears to be upsetting you. He is refusing to leave his wife and has told you he wants to be with you and is using the child as an excuse. I would be weary of a man that is not prepared tobe with you completely as he may be stringing you along just to get sex out of you. And you may find when you speak to your sister he has said the same thing to her, which is why she may be coming onto him. I think you have to consider what this man has done in relation to the situation. I get that you have deep feelings with this guy, but if he is kissing other women and refusing to leave his wife for you, it would appear that he probably isn't into you as much as you are him. I know this may be difficult to comprehend or see, but I feel I need to point this out to you. You cannot blame your sister souly for what you have seen.

    (Posted on 2016-06-21 18:11:00 by )
  23. Dear My Sister is chatting up my boyfriend,

    I can imagine how upset and hurt you are feeling at the moment and hope I can help put things into perspective for you. If you look at the situation from an unbiased point of you, you will see that the problems have stemmed from your boyfriend's lack of commitment. I understand that he does tell you that he loves you very much and that he wants to have a baby with you, but for a strong and lasting relationship to develop, there needs to be honesty and loyalty. If he is keeping a relationship with you behind his wife's back then that is the first sign that he is not completely devoted to starting a life with you. To add to that, for him to start a physical relationship with your sister, in addition to having a relationship with you (and his wife), is a big red flag on your ability to trust him. I am very sorry to hear that your sister has upset you, but please remember that he may also be telling her the same things he is telling you. I can imagine that having a very good looking "hunk" tell you that he loves you can be very flattering and make you protective of him, but you need to see that it takes two people to have a physical relationship and if he chose to kiss her, you need to question him as well. My advice would be for you to confront both your sister and your boyfriend. Your sister needs to know what your boyfriend has said to you about how he wants to build a life with you so she can then either step back or confirm if he has also said the same things to her. You also need to speak to him and make sure that if he is going to continue a relationship with you, then he does not do it behind his wife's back and a choice needs to be made. Please remember that even if he decides that he wants to leave his wife, you need to think about if you would be able to trust him after he cheated on his wife with you. Having a hidden relationship often means that the individual is not serious or ready for a real relationship, which means that you are very likely to get hurt. I strongly suggest that you carefully consider your actions and do not begin straining your relationship with your sister over a man that does not appear to be very faithful to begin with.

    If any of your friends were in your situation what would you advise them about trusting their boyfriend and arguing with their sister over an unfaithful man?

    I understand that much of what I have conveyed to you may be hurtful. Please remember the hurt you feel facing the truth about your boyfriend right now, is much less painful than the hurt you would feel if he impregnated you and then you found out he was still being unfaithful and is not going to end his relationship with his wife.

    I hope I have been able to help you and aid you in focusing on the essence of the issue. Please write back if you need any further advice once you have spoken to your boyfriend and sister. I am here to help.

    (Posted on 2016-06-18 21:19:00 by )
  24. It sounds to me although there are a lot of relationships here at risk. First one and most important being that of you and your sister. You must focus on this as priority and be open and honest with her. Tell her how you feel and what you saw straight away. It appears to me that your boyfriend has some issues he needs to resolve before focusing on a new relationship here with you. If things are not good at home with his wife and baby he needs to make a long term choice. You must not put yourself in the middle of this and allow time to take its toll. Look from an outsiders point of view - You have been with him secretly behind his wifes back - and now your sister is doing the same to you. He may be playing both of you off in order to get what he wants . A long term relationship and strain of having a baby has lead him to cheat on his wife. If he felt so stringly for you as you do him - he would have not done what he did with your sister . In honesty I would end it with him before things get any worse and make up the realtionship with your sister before she becomes set in his love trap aswell -All the best of Luck !!

    (Posted on 2016-06-14 12:57:00 by )
  25. Dear My sister is Chatting Up my Boyfriend,
    Id like to say I am proud that you are reaching out for advice as such topics can be difficult to discuss with others. It is personal and so much on ones heart is dedicated to relationships that it can be hard to open up the bare roots of your relationship for others to evaluate. It is hard to do when a partnership is going well and even harder to do when it is struggling. Now I would like to dive into your troubles. The first very apparent thing I see is your intense anger toward your sister. Although it may seem like an action of betrayal please remember something that is essential to understanding your sisters actions. She is young. Yes, yes this sounds like an excuse and it is but it is completly valid. A young mind is still in development. A young persons frontal cortex, the decision making center of the brain, is still growing and very receptive to influences and ideas that a grouwn adult would see with a more clear understanding. All your sister is seeing is an opportunity to raise her rank. To take something from her big sister and to seem older then she is. All shes doing is proving that she is still a young girl not big enough yet to fully think through the consequences of her actions. So yes she may have done something reproachable but all young girls do and they will learn in time to be more mature in their lives. Now that your remebering your little sister is still little let us remember a man ten years older then yourself is fully grown. This is a man, one with an established home and frontal coortex. He is perfectly aware of his actions and their consequences and this should tell you something about the way he is acting. He is making decisions based on lust and want. He is disregarding his wifes feelings, his childs feeling , and your feelings with every action he takes. Id like you to take a moment and think of the situation from the perspective of him. If he loves you and wants to be with only you then every time he leaves he is cheating on his wife. Every second he sepnds away is moments without his child who he claims to be staying for. And why stay married for the child. It is far less emotionally scaring for a child if they have a set home environment. So if he plans to leave his wife ever this is the perfect time. the child wont remember it and they have time to establish a schedule so the child grows up with a routine and a sense of normalcy. If he is staying with her now for the babys sake then what is his plan? to secretly be with you until the child is 18. Or is he planning to eventually divorce his wife further straining the childs life. By the way you speak of him that doesent seem like you beleive either option is his plan. Having such hope in people is a great trait but you must think logically. He has a family and he has no plans to leave so this leaves you in the position of mistress and adulterer. This will make you the other women the one with no guratentees and at the end of the day a broken heart. Becuase whatever his decision may be in the end with his wife you have no say in anything not legally or emotionally. Now I want to say something as I hope your starting to see the dire situation you are in. The chances of him leaving hsi wife are minimal and it is clear that you are infatuated with him but think again of your sister. Your sister who is most liely underaged, your sister who is determined to be with a man most likely twice her afe who has cheated on both his wife and you. Your sister who is predisposed to make bad decision because she is still a child herself. Your sister is in danger. This is what most people would call a child predator. A man whos intentions are to have sexual encounters with underaged women. He has already proven that fact. You may blame your sister and she may even have instigated the kiss but you know that one person can not kiss by themselves. Nor could your sister a young girl force a grown man as she does not have the strength or ablity to force it on him. He voluntarily kissed her as he kissed you as he may be kissing any girl who shows interst or dosent show interest. Right now I am asking you to act as a big sister. As the protector of someone young and impresionable. Be and example to her and show that you will not let a man treat you with such disrepsect and you will not let him take advantage of someone you love. His intentions are very clearly not honorable and if not for your own sake think of your sisters. Your all that can keep her from a terible moment which no one can go back from. I implore you to think rationally about the facts and about the feelings. In your heart I know your sister is more important then any man unwilling to dedicate himself to you. I hope you sincerly consider my advice as I know it is not something easy to hear but something that must be said. I hope you make the right choices and no matter what I wish you a good life.

    (Posted on 2016-06-13 07:36:00 by )
  26. Dear My sister is Chatting Up my Boyfriend,
    Id like to say I am proud that you are reaching out for advice as such topics can be difficult to discuss with others. It is personal and so much on ones heart is dedicated to relationships that it can be hard to open up the bare roots of your relationship for others to evaluate. It is hard to do when a partnership is going well and even harder to do when it is struggling. Now I would like to dive into your troubles. The first very apparent thing I see is your intense anger toward your sister. Although it may seem like an action of betrayal please remember something that is essential to understanding your sisters actions. She is young. Yes, yes this sounds like an excuse and it is but it is completly valid. A young mind is still in development. A young persons frontal cortex, the decision making center of the brain, is still growing and very receptive to influences and ideas that a grouwn adult would see with a more clear understanding. All your sister is seeing is an opportunity to raise her rank. To take something from her big sister and to seem older then she is. All shes doing is proving that she is still a young girl not big enough yet to fully think through the consequences of her actions. So yes she may have done something reproachable but all young girls do and they will learn in time to be more mature in their lives. Now that your remebering your little sister is still little let us remember a man ten years older then yourself is fully grown. This is a man, one with an established home and frontal coortex. He is perfectly aware of his actions and their consequences and this should tell you something about the way he is acting. He is making decisions based on lust and want. He is disregarding his wifes feelings, his childs feeling , and your feelings with every action he takes. Id like you to take a moment and think of the situation from the perspective of him. If he loves you and wants to be with only you then every time he leaves he is cheating on his wife. Every second he sepnds away is moments without his child who he claims to be staying for. And why stay married for the child. It is far less emotionally scaring for a child if they have a set home environment. So if he plans to leave his wife ever this is the perfect time. the child wont remember it and they have time to establish a schedule so the child grows up with a routine and a sense of normalcy. If he is staying with her now for the babys sake then what is his plan? to secretly be with you until the child is 18. Or is he planning to eventually divorce his wife further straining the childs life. By the way you speak of him that doesent seem like you beleive either option is his plan. Having such hope in people is a great trait but you must think logically. He has a family and he has no plans to leave so this leaves you in the position of mistress and adulterer. This will make you the other women the one with no guratentees and at the end of the day a broken heart. Becuase whatever his decision may be in the end with his wife you have no say in anything not legally or emotionally. Now I want to say something as I hope your starting to see the dire situation you are in. The chances of him leaving hsi wife are minimal and it is clear that you are infatuated with him but think again of your sister. Your sister who is most liely underaged, your sister who is determined to be with a man most likely twice her afe who has cheated on both his wife and you. Your sister who is predisposed to make bad decision because she is still a child herself. Your sister is in danger. This is what most people would call a child predator. A man whos intentions are to have sexual encounters with underaged women. He has already proven that fact. You may blame your sister and she may even have instigated the kiss but you know that one person can not kiss by themselves. Nor could your sister a young girl force a grown man as she does not have the strength or ablity to force it on him. He voluntarily kissed her as he kissed you as he may be kissing any girl who shows interst or dosent show interest. Right now I am asking you to act as a big sister. As the protector of someone young and impresionable. Be and example to her and show that you will not let a man treat you with such disrepsect and you will not let him take advantage of someone you love. His intentions are very clearly not honorable and if not for your own sake think of your sisters. Your all that can keep her from a terible moment which no one can go back from. I implore you to think rationally about the facts and about the feelings. In your heart I know your sister is more important then any man unwilling to dedicate himself to you. I hope you sincerly consider my advice as I know it is not something easy to hear but something that must be said. I hope you make the right choices and no matter what I wish you a good life.

    (Posted on 2016-06-13 07:36:00 by )
  27. Firstly, I am sorry that you have been put though this. My initial reaction is to acknowledge it does take 2 to tango. Now even though your sister may have a crush on him, his loyalty was to you and yet he kissed her too. How do you know she was trying to take him from you, why were you not able to confront her? My advice is to not always listen to what he says but watch his actions, his actions have showed you he cannot be trusted. Although he says he is staying for his child, why is he not able to move out to his family or rent a room elsewhere and be there for his child. Do you know he is still not in a relationship with the mother of his child, can this be confirmed for sure? From the sounds of it he does not seem like a decent man, who could betray you like this and especially with your sister. Instead of blaming your sister for taking him away, why not see no one can ever be taken away without their own free will. The stronger we keep hold of them the more suffocated they feel.

    Neither deserve your respect or love, so I would say work on your own issues and be with someone who is deserving of your love. I would highlight issues with your sister and ask her why she felt it was ok for her to do that, no one is condoning her behaviour, or telling you to forget. But by confrontation in a non-aggressive way, may give you the answer’s you require. Maybe that man was a teacher to you both of love and loyalty and more importantly betrayal.
    I hope you are able to muster the strength to find solace in this and walk away as you deserve so much better and more importantly deserve someone who will not betray your trust.

    (Posted on 2016-06-12 16:59:00 by )
  28. Hello and welcome.
    I understand at this time you love your boyfriend dearly, but may i ask what is he doing to help put your sister back into reality. The behavior your sister is portraying is unreasonable and shows an awful lot of disrespect to yourself and your partner, allthough I do hope he is not encouraging this in anyway. You need to have a 1 to 1 with your sister and calmly and collectively tell her you will not accept this kind of disrespect towards you or your partner. I know its easy to want what you think is right with the state of mind your in at the moment, but this whole situation needs rethinking and changing before another life gets brought into what is allready seeming to make you unhappy. You do not deserve someone who kisses your sister or anyone else for that matter. Aim higher. Distrust has now been put in place and long term this could cause you insecurities and further harm your future. If however you want to stay with this man then I would advise you get some respect back, lay some rules down and some lines you do not wish him to cross, ie: kissing other people and also tell your sister you will not accept her flirting with YOUR partner. If he crosses lines or does not respect your wishes you are better off without him.. good luck and have faith. everything happens for a reason which may not come to light for years. breath easy and be patient what will be will be my dear.
    xx

    (Posted on 2016-06-12 09:46:00 by )
  29. Hi,
    Thank you for opening up an sharing your problem with me. I know it takes a lot to talk about such personal issues.
    Let's look at the situation one instance at a time.
    The fact that your boy friend is still living with his wife and in a relationship with you is alarming. Does his wife know about you? Have you spoken to her and sure about his livng conditions that they delfinitely live seperately although under the same roof? My advise to you will be:
    - First and foremost stop worrying and being afraid of losing your boy friend. Remember always the right things comes your way when you create space for it in a positive frame of mind.
    - Have an open discussion with your boyfriend about your future together. If he wants to have a baby with you, he needs to be open and transparent with you about his family life. How does he plan to have a baby with you, inside or outside wedlock. If he wants outside wedlock ask yourself if you are ok with it? Arent you settling for less?
    - Ask him that you want to meet his wife. If he wants you to be with him, he needs to give you your due respect and introduce you to his family.
    - You have seen him kissing your sister, that raises a big question on his honesty. Keep this in mind and stregthen your mind. Any respectable man will not do this. Ask him why he did this.
    - Once you have sorted the above points out, have a chat with your sister and tell her what you find out. Discuss with her how you can strengthen your relationship so that you stand up for each other rather than back biting and being jealous of each other.

    All the best and take care of yourself

    (Posted on 2016-06-11 10:32:00 by )
  30. Thank you for confiding in me about this. My gut tells me that this man is likely going to be trouble and lead to more heartache than you deserve. Before jumping to conclusions, I would like to discuss all angles of the situation. I've learned in life that most things are not just black and white, actually, most things fall in the "grey" area. The fact that your boyfriend is married and living with his wife and child may be concerning. Are you just taking his word for it that they are not still together? Or have you talked to her as well? It is not unheard of, or impossible, for a couple to stay living together for their child, at least while they are very young. You have to take into consideration the challenge and stress that accompanies an arrangement like that though. It requires an immense amount of trust in your boyfriend. You both need to be able to openly communicate, especially about his home life, after all, he is living with someone he once vowed to be with for the rest of his life. I don't believe you should just take his word for it either. If you are going to be in his life it will be important for his child's mother to meet you, at least once, so she can feel comfortable with you. That is, as long as he is telling you the truth about them not being together anymore. If it turns out he and his wife are still on again off again, bringing up meeting her will set off red flags of him not wanting you to do that. I question his honesty simply because you have caught him kissing your sister. That doesn't sound like the most respectable man to me. You deserve an explanation for what you saw that day, not from one of them, but both of them. You can't only be angry with your sister, he was there too. So what was the reason? Is there any reason that is good enough that would make you alright with them having kissed? Will you ever feel comfortable with the two of them being around each other? If it is something you discuss with them and you don't feel like you can get past, then it is time to really evaluate your relationship. Especially since he is asking some serious commitments from you, sex and a baby is not something to take lightly. If you are contemplating serious decisions, he should be too. Think of the things you desire from a partner. Do you want someone you can count on, trust, be proud of, encourage, rely on? If those are things you are struggling with in the beginning of the relationship things are likely going to get even more difficult as time goes on. I know you love him, or at least it feels a lot like love, either way, it is real for you. It makes it hard to see things clearly. I hope you ask yourself some questions about what you are looking for, what you can adapt to, ask your boyfriend questions and don't settle for anything less than complete answers, the same goes for your sister. After that, do some serious thinking. With all that you learn, would this situation that you are in be something that you would encourage your future daughter to pursue? I wish you the best of luck during this time of turmoil.

    (Posted on 2016-06-11 02:32:00 by )
  31. Hi
    I'm sorry that you are going through this difficult and confusing time in your life. There are many factors to consider. Let's begin with your sister: it's sad that your own sister has betrayed you. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick family members, she will always be your sister. Talk to her; tell her what you saw; how she hurt you; communicate your expectations and set boundaries. Hopefully you can work things out with her because it would be very sad to let a guy ruin your relationship with your sister.

    Your boyfriend is married, has a new child, kissing your sister and telling you that he loves you and wants to have a baby with you. He sounds like a very busy guy. There really is not anything decent about this man. Does his wife think they are separated and living together for the baby? Sounds like this man is playing lots of games and you are one of his many victims. What would be some characteristics you would want in a perfect boyfriend and father for your children? Trust, loyalty, respect, caring, may be important ones to look for in a person. Good looks fade and are not all that important. It's the personality and how the person treats you that counts. Don't be a victim, be strong, take control and get out of this relationship. He is not worth the stress and aggravation. He will never be just yours. You will always be wondering where he is and who he is with because he can not be trusted. Think about your future and find someone that will love just you. There are better people out there. Good luck and we are here anytime you need us for advice.

    (Posted on 2016-06-09 18:33:00 by )
  32. hi,first let me say your problem seems tuff. If you follow what im about to say it might help you in the long run.You might not like what im going to say but im going to give you the truth. you seem like a smart and beautiful woman let me first let you know that. with what you are going through i am going to say move on. Seems simple to say but always hard to do.you love him i get it but he truly ant love you. one he has a wife who he lives with, who cares if they slep in sepret rooms its the same house. they have a child togeather which isnt a problem but its a flag. not every man who cant get along with the mother of there kid is always over her. but idk him so i cant point the finger. but if he kissed your sister he ant shit. you are better then that.you should get better then that. if your sister wants him test him.play ya part but dont put your heart in it.see what he do. see if how far he gos. but be a woman i know you are and work get ya money and have fun. your young enjoy that. dont hae his baby wait for the right guy. date other people but still work and make money. do you really. love will come and go. you have many more love stories to go. just cuz he looks good dont mean he is good. i want you to be better be drama free and with him all i see you getting is drama. its going to be hard to get over someone you love but its a lesson that you will learn from.

    (Posted on 2016-06-09 17:22:00 by )
  33. I can see that your 'heart' knows what you want from a relationship which is NOT what you had seen between your boyfriend and sister. Entering a relationship should be based upon mutual respect, faithfullness and/or loyalty to each other, genuine emotions. The use of the words 'love' can be used against an emotionally vulnerable person, and easy to manipulate and abuse a vulnerable person. Accepting such actions against you as a person, should not become a daily routine. We cannot let 'one' guy set 'standards' of an ideal relationship when many, many, guys are out there, that can be a true and genuinely caring person towards you vs being promiscuous with every gal in your family and friend circles. You have been shown the 'true character' of this 'boyfriend'. It hurts to leave an 'ideal' boyfriend that 'looks' stunning but if it 'hurts' then, it's time to consider moving back into the dating scene, until you find somebody that only wants you.

    (Posted on 2016-06-06 21:03:00 by )
  34. Hi, You want your sister to stop trying to steal your boyfriend from you... you have seen them kissing. Have you asked your boyfriend why he was kissing your sister? Have you spoken to your sister? It would seem that both your sister and boyfriend know exactly what they are doing, and do not care if they hurt you in the process. You say that he is super hunky dunky, but what is he like as a person? Physical attraction is only part of a relationship. Do you still want to be with him if he disrespects your feelings and thinks that all he has to say is that he "loves you" to get what he wants from you.
    Your boyfriend has a wife and child, and yet he wants to be with you even though you have seen him kissing your sister. Do you know what his wife might be thinking if she knew you were seeing her husband. Do you know for a fact that they sleep in seperate bedrooms. When a couple have a new baby it is not unusual for them to sleep in seperate bedrooms so that the baby only wakes one person and not both every night.
    You seem to be putting 100% of the blame on your sister, and yet it is your boyfriend who seems to be splitting his attentions between 3 women.
    You say your boyfriend "belongs" to you. If he is still married to his wife, surely he belongs to her if he is going to belong to anyone? It looks like your boyfriend likes to have different women attracted to him and he doesn't care who he hurts with his actions.
    If you were to have a baby with your boyfriend, how much support would he be able to give you if he already has one small baby he is responsible for. Do you have family and friends who would support you if you get into the same situation that his wife is in?
    Perhaps you could speak to your boyfriend and tell him what you saw and how upset it makes you and see what his reply is. If he denies he was kissing her, or that it was anything serious.. will you think that is ok. Again if you speak to your sister and ask her what was going on. Sometimes we see and accept what we choose to see because we dont' want to admit that the person we love would betray us, this man is married with a small baby but he is spending time with you and kissing your sister. Do you think this boyfriend is going to make you happy in the long term? What your sister is doing may not be right, but what your boyfriend is doing is not right either. You say you want your sister to stop and respect that he is a decent man, but would a decent man have an affair with a young girl while his wife is at home looking after his new baby.
    Ask yourself what you want from a man in a relationship. Yes Love, but do you not want loyalty, integrity, commitment, security and honesty as well?
    The way to stop your sister is to confront her and tell her what you saw, but if your boyfriend is always looking for someone new, even if your sister stops, it won't stop him, and next time you might not catch him doing it with the other woman.
    If someone genuinely loves you, they won't want to look at another woman, even if that woman is trying to steal them away..

    (Posted on 2016-06-06 14:41:00 by )

Ask free agony aunt online and advice columnist

SEEKING NO CHARGE GUIDANCE? POST BELOW.

DO NOT POST YOUR REAL NAME, ANY CONTACT DETAILS, WEBSITE,LINKS ETC. POST THE QUESTION OR PROBLEM YOU WOULD LIKE FREE ADVICE ON BELOW THEN RETURN TO SEE REPLIES..

TO CONSULT ROSEMARY OR ONE OF HER EXPERTS FOR A PRIVATE SPEEDY 121 PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL REPLY GO TO CONSULTATION PAGE. TO GIVE FREE ADVICE POST BELOW.

Comments

  1. Hello.It's true:any relationship you are in has to be give and take, not just take. Whilst I'm sure it's very nice to have a holiday away together, if you are thinking of being with someone for a long period of time and are in a serious relationship financial responsibilities come into play. You need to make your man aware that he needs to meet you half way with everything. I hope this advice has helped.

    (Posted on 2016-07-20 16:35:00 by )
  2. Hello.It's true:any relationship you are in has to be give and take, not just take. Whilst I'm sure it's very nice to have a holiday away together, if you are thinking of being with someone for a long period of time and are in a serious relationship financial responsibilities come into play. You need to make your man aware that he needs to meet you half way with everything. I hope this advice has helped.

    (Posted on 2016-07-20 16:35:00 by )
  3. To, Julie;
    This isn't a pleasant situation to be in, and I'm probably not the only person to tell you this, but speaking as a feminist, leave him. You do not need a man like that in your life. Think about it logically, will you actually enjoy this holiday knowing that he hasn't contributed to anything? I don't think it's fair he's putting his financially instability in your hands. You must pay for him too or you both cannot go? I think you should leave him and enjoy a beautiful trip away in Egypt with one of your girl friends, who most probably could be able to pay for themselves. I understand that while you may love him he most certainly does not care about you, You definitley deserve better than that and I am rooting for you. Wish you the best!
    - J. x

    (Posted on 2016-07-18 16:12:00 by )
  4. I'm sorry to say this sweetheart but if he knows about your financial situation and still insists you pay for it all he obviously doesn't care about you, if he had he wouldn't make such demands. You should go by yourself and find someone who truly cares about you instead of wasting your precious time and energy on someone as selfish as him. It's your hard-earned money and you should spend it wisely and on something you will enjoy, you're not his piggybank he can use whenever he feels like it, he's a grown man so he should act like it, you don't want a man who isn't thoughfull enough to give up a vacation abroad when he cannot afford it. You are beautiful and precious, you don't deserve to be treated like that and you shouldn't have too! Love and treasure yourself and the right guy will apear!It's better to be single and rocking than stuck in a relationship in wich you aren't enjoying yourself anymore!So go ahead and spoil yourself, get a new hairdo/clothes/spa day, whatever you feel like doing for yourself and be happy, you earned it!

    (Posted on 2016-07-17 17:50:00 by )
  5. Hi Julie,

    Well sweetheart I am sorry to say this but do not take him. Pack your bags girl and go see Egypt yourself with some independant travelling! afterall YOU have saved to be able to do this, why should you miss out? Or for a better question, why should you pay for him when he had a lot of time to save as you have mentioned, yet he has not bothered to even try by the sounds of it! This world is full of people who will try and take advantage of certain peoples kind hearted and loving nature. I am going to go ahead and assume he knows how much you wanted to see Egypt, and how much it meant to you? which means he will be thinking to himself, she wants to go so much she will spend it all so we can go together. FREE HOLIDAY FOR HIM. What about you? are you really going to enjoy this trip knowing you have blown your entire savings to take him along when he made no effort.

    To me it seems like he doesn't actually care that much to how much it does mean to you, otherwise he would of saved the money he needed and he would of payed it himself. You may be his girlfriend, and by the sounds of it a loving and compassionate one at that for even considering paying for him! but to me it seems his loyalties are tied up somewhere else. If I was you, I would pack my suitcase, find my sunglasses and tell him I would contact him once I had arrived in Egypt!

    If you do not like the idea of independant travel, as it can be scary to some but it is a great experience! id suggest maybe asking a family member? or another friend that you may have that would like to see Egypt to accompany you! someone that will pay their way. It does not seem fair in the slightest for you to blow your entire savings because your boyfriend blew his money!

    Never let the selfishness of anyone else make you miss out on the opportunities you have been waiting for. I hope everything works out, and I really do hope you take that trip! XOXO

    (Posted on 2016-06-25 09:02:00 by )
  6. Dear Julie,
    I am sorry you find yourself in such a difficult and confusing situation and it is my greatest wish to help you consider your options at the present moment. First of all you need to confront your boyfriend on his behavior. He obviously lied to you and had no intentions of saving money for your venture and you deserve to know why. I predict his response will be something along the lines of he just didn't have enough time or it was to much money. And you should be ready to take these answers for what they are. Completely irrelevant and insulting excuses. You made it clear that you were working toward this goal for a long time and he had falsely shown intent to work toward it as well. After you confront him I advise you give him an ultimatum. Tell him if he's willing to save up and try to raise the money then you can push back the trip. If he is not then he will not be going on the trip. It is important to stand your ground and make it clear that you are not there to be used. He's not asking for a hundred dollars for groceries or gas. He's asking for thousands for a trip across the world and all the amenities he most likely plans to have. If he is at this point in the relationship looking to make you his sugar daddy then it's time to set your boundaries and make it 100% obvious that you are your own provider and he should be his as well. remember this does not have to be the end of your relationship nor does it have to keep you from attending your Holiday. If he is willing to save his own money or even willing to admit he had done something wrong and allow you to go without him but promise to work on his money management and the relationship then their is no reason to end things. For now just take about of comfort in the fact that you can still go and that this is not your fault. You did your part and he failed in his. As a compassionate girlfriend you probably want to help him as well but since you can't afford it take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing by not bankrupting yourself and teaching him a valuable lesson about responsibility. Regardless of the outcome make sure you protect your money and use it for what you want as you worked hard to earn it. Go on your adventure and enjoy the marvels of Egypt and be proud of yourself for working so very hard.

    (Posted on 2016-06-15 01:17:00 by )
  7. Society is full of predators and this includes those seeking 'easy' money sources. Predators can easily identify their 'prey' and includes preying upon emotions of women. This is to gain access to sex, money and may include 'control' of your life. Relationships should be built on equal sharing of giving and taking. Modern living requires greater amounts of monies between couples, for a comfortable lifestyle. Gone are the days of having one 'main' breadwinner. It can be too emotionally and physically draining to want to remain in such a situation. I would suggest writing down a list of BOTH your $$ contributions, see what more is needed, divide that in half, and both of you continue towards saving for the new goal. No one person should be 'held responsible' for the entirety of any given plan, in a relationship. Today's world economies have changed from times of our parents and grandparents.

    (Posted on 2016-06-06 20:47:00 by )
  8. Hi, Something to consider...What's your boyfriend like with money normally... is this an unusual situation, or is he always asking to borrow from you?
    When you think about why you are with your boyfriend, yes you may love him and believe that he loves you too, but when we enter into a relationship we want to be loved and appreciated for who we are and not necessarily what we provide. How does it make you feel knowing how hard you have worked and saved to be able to go on this holiday, and he hasn't. The way you say that you will be using all your savings if you pay for him too, suggests that either you have not been together for very long, or that you don't see why you should have to pay for him, that it makes you feel secure knowing you have money in savings and you are not willing to jeopardise that security to pay your boyfriends half of the holiday. You don't say what his reasons are for not having ANY of the money to pay for himself, nor why he has left it to the last minute to tell you. If you pay for him and worry about not having any savings, will you be able to enjoy your trip? Will you be angry with him? Or will you pay for him and think.. I have spent the money so I am going to enjoy myself and deal with the situation when I get back.
    These are all questions to ask yourself, and be honest with yourself, because at the end of the day, you have worked to earn that money and it is yours to spend as you choose, and to now be put in a situation where you are having to consider spending your savings when you had not anticipated doing so, is a decision only you can make, but you shouldn't be put under pressure to make it. What is the alternative if you don't pay for him? Will he still want to be with you. If the answer is Yes, then that suggests you have a strong relationship, if the answer is No.. would you want to stay with someone who only stayed with you as long as you paid for him? Ask yourself each question, and listen to the answer that comes up from within you, not from friends and family, but from within you, and then decide what decision you make about your holiday.

    (Posted on 2016-06-06 13:43:00 by )
  9. please help me... am planning to go on to egypt with my boyfriend but he tells me he has no money and i must pay for him too or we cannot go. hae saved and saved and he said he had too... he had lots of time.. and it would cost me all of my savings and more.. what do i do/

    (Posted on 2016-06-06 12:58:00 by )

You are viewing the text version of this site.

To view the full version please install the Adobe Flash Player and ensure your web browser has JavaScript enabled.

Need help? check the requirements page.


Get Flash Player