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The thing about giving advice is that everyone thinks they can do it, and when they think they will get their name plastered over a newspaper, magazine or website they are even more keen. The thing which makes no sense is that when I advertised on official job sites I was inundated with people insisting they were suitable but who had no talent. You could say that if they are not bright enough to advise others they are not bright enough to realise this and need me to point it out. You could say that. Yet you could tell by the way they contacted me and the things they said that they knew they were inadequate. How do I know this? Because they tell me that they cannot get a job, they were fired from McDonalds for being inadequate and slow and turning up late all the time, they want a job that pays a lot more than that but where they can work from home and feel important. Not one word about being a capable person, not one word about caring for others, it is all about them. They want an easy life, and they make this clear, but this has nothing to do with being any good at solving problems or advising people. They cannot sort out their own problems.
One of the give aways was that when you asked them what proves they are capable of helping others by being an agony aunt they would say well my friends come to me with their problems and tell me all about it.Really? Well that is just friends chatting. Letting off steam. Wanting to fill the blanks when nothing is being said. It does not mean that they value your opinion or want to hear it. And people are always quick to ask for free opinions, that means nothing. Free opinions are worth what you pay for them. The majority of people who come to you for free advice are not really wanting it at all, they just want to complain and get a sympathetic ear, they want someone to agree with them, they do not want you to work things out for them but to accept they have worked it out for themselves.
If the complainer tells you that her boyfriend beats her up every day she does not want you to criticise himor to tell her what to do, deep down she knows all of this, she wants you to tut in the right places, make her feel better in the here and now. She has no intention of dumping him. She may insist that he has promised not to do it again, or he pays the bills and she needs his money, but whatever the reason is it is up to her.She simply feels better if she lets off steam or gets sympathy about it inbetween the many bad bits! That is your role, not to sort it out for her. And if you criticise him she will feel worse, she does not want to be reminded that she is needy and returning to a bad man, something she will do anyway. She has to tell herself that he is really a good man and he really loves her as this makes it more bearable. If you tell her that he is really a good man she will think you are terrific, because you make her feel better about the situation and herself even though you are lying. Being an agony aunt is not always about telling the truth. It can be about giving sympathy or telling lies to make someone feel better.
Ask the majority of bad advisors onlnewould tell a girlfriend to dump her boyfriend with no thought to how she would never be able to do it because she needs him or thinks she loves him a lot. They go by principles and practical things instead of feelings, and forget that it is an emotional situation first and foremost for this person, with the practical things following after.
The worst sort of agony aunt online is the one who tells the client the obvious and assumes they are so thick they cannot think of this for themself. I recently looked at a website for lonely people. Lonely people are usually in that predicament because for one reason or another they are unable to meet people who become friends.
Yet this website said that they advised lonely people to contact all of their friends and invite them over!This is saying that they are so stupid they cannot think of a simple thing like making a phone call or inviting someone to come over. That they are lonely because although they have lots of friends they have not thought of contacting them or inviting them. Ridiculous And this comes from a so called hepful website which has cost a lot of money and taken a lot of time to put together.
When a person works along as an agony aunt or advice columnist you get the same sort of daft advice more often. If a person says their doctor does not understand them the so called advisor says they should change their doctor. Something so obvious the complainer would have already thought of it, but there must be a reason why they did not do it. It may be that there are no other local doctors, it may be that they have tried the others and they are worse, but never give such obvious advice to anyone with a brain. Especially if they are paying for it. People will ask for their money back if you tell them something really obvious and expect to get paid for it. A good advice columnist will get into the skin of the person and feel for them as well as just see what is going on. You will not get this luxury if you write to a magazine or newspaper column where they often just write a few words very quickly because they are inundated, and usually they miss most of what you wrote because they are so busy, and usually they just send you a link to a website, something you could have found for yourself in ten minutes.
Ask agony aunt online column columns replies advice columnist
This is the only place that considers employing inexperienced people as advisors. No newspaper, magazine or website would consider it usually, not only that but we are offering to pay them
a high hourly fee for their help and time.
What we are looking for is people who are smart, focused,
good with people, caring, sympathetic, intelligent, mature, reliable, who can stick to our deal of giving us at least five hours a week of their time in return for the £200 a week or more we offer them. We do not ask for experience or qualificaitions
because we know from experience that usually when people
start to tell us all about their experience it has nothing to do with selling advice! Either they will tell us that their friends come to
them for comfort - so what, we all get that, even those of us who are awful at advice get it - because it is easy to get to and free not because it is any good - or they tell us how much they
would love to help people yet somehow have never had the
chance, strange that as we all get chances to help others
each and every day in lots of different ways... or they tell us
that they desperately need this job because they have debts and cannot pay the bills, none of which has anything to do with
being wise and sensible and good at advising others.
So one of the first things you have to understand is that our duty is to our paying clients. We make sure that only the best advise them. They can go to forums and their friends if they want advice from people who give crap advice or have ulterior motives for advising them.
Many of the people who come to us for a job tell us that they cannot get a job anywhere. In which case we are not sure why they are thinking they will get a far better job at a much higher
wage here. Usually if you cannot get an ordinary job you find a way to make sure you can, you do not set your sights at something even more difficult to get.
The world is full of people who would love to earn £40 per hour but do not have enough skill, experience, talent or brains to be able to. Cleaners, bar maids, road sweepers, those who work in burger bars or knock on doors trying to sell things at minimum commission would all love to work for us and sit on their typewriter or computer sendingemails instead of cleaning, working in a bar or road sweeping. But they know they do not have the skills to do it.
If just anyone could sell advice then we would already be fully staffed and already have a long waiting list of people and would not still be looking. So do use some common sense.
We do not charge a penny to anyone who is coming here hoping to work for us but we do ask that they do not waste out time
applying for this job if they are not suitable for it. So if yhourf life is not sorted, if you have trouble in geting jobs and paying the bills and are not goode at reading and writing we think you would be wasting our time. Our clients have unsorted lives and need
advice on hows to get a job or pay the bills, not our staff.
An advice columnist, agony aunt is well respected because their lives are sorted and they do not need advice themselves.
Some are followers some are leaders, our clients are followers our staff are leaders. Leaders do not need advice from others.
An agony aunt is wise, they have compassion, very often
they earn a very good living working as a doctor, therapist,
counsellor, nurse, or some other well and respectable profession. They are not drawn to selling advice because they are skint and cannot think of other ways to make money nor for an ego boost to show off to their friends because they feel inadequate.
Sadly we have come across a lot of people who are not as genuine as this. This is why so many of the pepole who
come to our site and apply for this job do not get it.
Some are so bored and desperate for an ego boost they
would work for us for free. If we were happy to take on
people who were rubbish at giving adavice we could get
people much cheaper than £40 per hour. Common sense
tells you that and to be a good advice columnist you need
plenty of common sense.
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This means reading the emails that our clients send us and writing back to them with wise advice by email. It is as simple as that but sadly not many are bright enough to be able to do that well.
You can do this if you are reliable, conscientious, honest,
tactful, disciplined, hard working, good at reading and writing,
caring towards others, unselfish, smart, educated and
able to spare five hours or more a week.
To be a good agony aunt requires a lot of effort. It is not just a case of sitting in front of your computer for five hours a week, if it were that simple then everyone could do it and we would be able to get people much, much cheaper or even free. There are so many people out there who like the idea of becoming well known and having people respect them and being able to say they matter and make a difference to the World, there are lots who love to sit at their computers, it would be easy to find people who simply want to do it for all of the wrong
and selfish and short sighted reasons. But we want people who can
actually help our clients not just people who want us to improve their lives. It has to be a two way street where they can help our clients as much as we help them.
A true advice columnist does not just sit and read and write,
they transform the life of the person they are reading emails from and writing back to. The client might be in a state about their
relationship so they carefully take in the information sent to them and write back to the client with words that comfort and improve
and change that situation, not the silly ramblings of a friend
or the daft guidance of a neighbour, but something really helpful.
If the client is worried because they are ll the advisor does not just say go to the doctor, they can work that out for themself, they have to give them guidance which is far better than waht they can get for free
from people they know and facebook groups and forums.