Women dating older men. Most of the problems that people come to a reputable, qualified agony aunt about is love and often they are women who are having problems because the feelings they have for a guy are not being returned. This is one reason why I sometimes warn people against going out with someone older. Women who are aged at least thirty should be able to sort out what they want out of life and work out how to get it, if they then decide to date older men then they should be able to deal with that too. The problems arise when the female is much younger and has very little knowledge of romance or the way a man thinks. Usually it is her first big love affair and it has knocked her off her feet. She believes this guy is the one and only even if she has only known him for five minutes and knows very little about him. The guy is the one who should know better and is taking advantage of her and her lack of experience in these things. The guy might be lying to her, trying to use her or manipulate her or take advantgage of her but as she is younger she may fall for all of his lies or selfishiness because she is too trusting. This is especialy true of married mature guys! I can remember dozens of older men who were married telling me that they were different to the others, that they had a good reason for wanting me to see them in secret and popping in for quick sex! The same guys would tell the woman that age is just a number, and it should not matter that he is three times her age, but it would mater to him if she were three tiems his age. If he really cared about her he would warn her and watch out for her. Hopefully her
parents are around and she can talk to them and they can but they can only do this if she tells them about things and if they are caring and protective.
Many females get together with a more mature guy and have a satisfying, fulfilling and very happy relationship with them. But when one goes wrong people tend to like the idea of assuming it is because of the age gap, even when it was nothing to do with it.
Some age gaps stand no chance of working out at all, when women are dating older men it may not as a serious or long term relationship where either or both are looking for love and romance. Take a teenager of fifteen who says she has fallen madly in love with a guy of nineteen, that might work. Whether it works will depend on how mature they both are. If she is naive and unworldly and he is mature with a lot of experience of women it is unlikely to last. But if the guy is twenty nine you have to wonder how come he is interested in a girl who is not yet a woman. It may be that he is shy but it is usually because he wants someone he can mould into what he wants and he knows he cannot do that with an older woman. Some older guys like the idea that the younger female is submissive and lets him make her decisions for her and fule her. If the girl is fifteen and the guy is fifty then he definitely has weird motives and she is too naive and unworldly for him. I once went out with an older guy who expected me to allow him to choose my meals in the restuarants and tell me what colours and clothes to wear! If the woman is looking to live with or get married to the guy then that gives her even more reason to be careful about the age gap, just as she should be cautious about one hundred and one other things too. If the gap difference is the only thing then ask yourself if you could fall for a younger guy and if not then surely it is better to have a few great years with the older the older one than loads of years with a wrong one or on your own? Never decide solely on age, put all of the different facets together before making a decision.
Some men are fascinated by younger females because they want someone naive and submissive who is easier to impress and dominate with others
it is about looks and sex, with rich, famous or very old men it can be for an ego boost and to make them feel younger. They are more interested in
having a beautiful creature to be seen with than someone who is good company or who they hve things in common with. The thing is that when the younger one gets older the older one often loses interest and then wants to find another one that is very young. Whatever your issues are you
would benefit from a personal and confidential session with an expert or Charlotte.... or please feel free to use the romance threads and the
community on this site, make friends, learn and grow.
Women dating older men