Why Did He Cheat on Me?

Why did he cheat on me?    Oh dear. Ask best agony aunt online.  When I met John he seemed so perfect and he gave me the feeling that things would be great and last forever.  Now just seven years later it is all in tatters.  He tells me that he is sorry and he will  never do it again. John tells me that he has no idea of why he does it and cannot stop himself.  He also tells me that he loves me very much.  Then John shrieks and shouts that all men are the same and no man is ever faithful and I expect too much of him.


John is now a cheat but before that John was the kindest and nicest man I had ever met so I could not understand why he had changed and if it was my fault.  John would hold my hand, put his arm around me, open car doors, open shop doors, fetch me a cup of tea as soon as I got in from work and listen to all of my problems.   I often came in disgrunted because of a difficult client at work or one of the other staff members giving me a hard time.   Yet seven years later John barely notices me and tells me proudly that he has been with a girl who is ten years younger than him and thinks that if he just says sorry that is it and I cannot mention it again.  Things have changed so much. But why? John often goes out without telling me where or how long for or who tells me how long for and then gets back much later.  John turns off his mobile or answers it in a very grumpy quick way as if he cannot get me off of the phone quick enough. Hence I decided I needed quality help! So I decided to go to the very best agony aunt online and ask her... Charlotte Craig.


I told Charlotte the agony aunt online that I had done my best to cope. had suspected John was seeing someone else for ages.  But I had also had my opportunities to be disloyal. I was faithful, I did not cheat, but why? There is one very nice man at work I like a lot who is called Fred.  He is very nice and single and he once told me that he wishes I was single too.  He is not a sleazy character who tries to get me to play around with him and he would be a good catch.  He tends to believe that  I must be single too before we do anything. He would ask me to go out with him then. He had tried to find a date online but did not like any of them.  Sometimes I have been tempted to go home to John and tell him it is all over so that I can be free and can go out with Fred but then somehow John is nice again or I realise that we have a home together and change my mind.  About six months ago John came in with lipstick on his collar and I went beserk.  Instead of trying to lie his way out of hit he just went rushing out of the front door again banging the door shut behind him with a giant slam.   When John eventually returned he went on and on about how I was out of order and refused to discuss the lipstick stain.  Then John mumbled something about how a woman at work had accidentally brushed against him. He was a cheat, why?


I explained to Charlotte. I ask you!  A lot of guys cheat, it hurts, but why do they do it? I suppose it is different for everyone. She is the best agony aunt online and she knows her stuff. As I said, the sex life with John is rubbish now.  John either wants it to be all very quick where he gets satisfaction and I do not or he gets into bed and lays with his back to me.  John used to cuddle me and hold me as though I was a cherished possession.  Where has it all gone and what do I do?  Please Charlotte tell me.  I desperately need good advice now. Should I stay with him or end it so that I am free?  Does he love me?  Is our relationship worth saving?   Would I be happier on my own? Should I finish this and try with Fred who would then ask me out? Who is the best? Fred or John? Should I look online for someone else?  Are all men going to let me down and hurt me?  Why is life so difficult?   John said that it is my fault is this true?   Or is there truth in this notion of the seven year itch where all men stray when it gets to that point?  If we stay together can we patch things up and be happy or would we just be making do and torturing each other?  My friend says there is no such thing as love and I was fooling myself to think we were happy before.  Is this true?  Has John been with other women before this one?  Or is she the very first?



Why did he cheat on me?    ask best agony aunt online   charlotte craig


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