Who Should I Choose?

Who should I choose? Ask free agony aunt problem page.  David seems for the most part perfect for me,  he is the same age as me, he has done well at work, just got a promotion, works quite hard without having to work evenings and weekends,  has a lot of stamina and is fit, is bright, cuddly, bubbly, got a good sense of humour, is very caring and loyal and attentive.  But there is also Jason who is taller, fitter, better looking yet works long hours, often goes away on business and has a lot of time consuming hobbies. He goes off to visit his parents and his sister regularly and helps out at the church on sunday. He is not very romantic, not very much into talking about "us" or anything of importance or to do with feelings yet he earns a lot and he is happy to pay all of the bills.


If you write down a list of pros and cons on the both of them they both come out about equal! So how does one decide? Who do you ask? Do you use one of the many free forums where you might wait for months and not get any response? Or get silly response from someone with no idea? There are some agony aunt forums out there but most of them are quite amateurish where the blind leads the blind. I decided to ask an agony aunt for free but I also decided to consult Charlotte, a proper professional, and pay for her help.  I also went to a problem page and saw what they had to say. At the end of it I was glad I went to her and she was the best option. This is where I turn to the free agony aunt and ask the problem page!  I asked Charlotte - Who shouldf I choose? and gave her this low down. The good thing about writing to Charlotte Craig herself is that it is far quicker than writing to a magazine or newspaper. She is also more expert and qualified and experienced in this stuff, so I know she will get it right. She is always on the look out for others who are very good at advising so that they can also join her team and help her to advise her clients, they get well paid for it, if they are good enough. But I chose to consult Charlotte herself, personally, rather than one of those experts, I did not want to take any chances or cut any corners and just for the sake of a few pounds in expense more it was not worth the risk to me. I could have used her problem page free, I did ask a friend, but I prefer to consult a professional when things are serious.


A lot of women would say choose this one or choose that one with no thought to whether that person suits me. They would go by who would make them happier without thinking that I am a different person to them with different needs.  They would not be thinking about how I need more than just anyone being there and do not need to compromise.  Who can give me security? Who can give me love? Should I settle? Should I make sure the person is this or that? No one person can cover all of these things, nobody is perfect, including me. Who should make me happy may be someone I have not yet met and never will meet or someone who came and went in the past. Should I stick with them might depend on how they behave, do I choose them might depend on if they are good for me or how I feel at that time.


I suppose it depends on what is more important to you. If you are into love or security, time or affection, reality or fantasy, long term or see how it goes?


In the end I had no decision to make!  Jason decided that he wanted to marry me and would not settle for just living together.  At the same time David became less interested and started to make excuses not to come over much until after a few months he was coming over so little I hardly saw him.  This made it very easy for me to decide which one, I decided on Jason because he was the one who was keener and tried the hardest, even though he was working long hours and there were snags and negatives.  I decided I was better off with someone who had other things and still came back to me.


The thing is I am seventy five with three grandchildren, my health is not very good, I am often ill and have money problems, so I need to think carefully and I realise that I will not get many other men wanting to be with me. There was a wife beater a few months ago and a guy who had a lot of problems with drinking and gambling just  efore that, so you can see that Did and Jason are the best on offer.  I do not like being a lone, I hate being single, so I will make a life with Jason.  At my age it is not about being in love and romance it is about companionship and friendship...with some convenience on both sides.  Jason gives me money, I give him intimacy and sex and cook him nice meals.. But does that mean I should choose him? or Who do I choose instead?


I turned to ask the free agony aunt problem page because I was fed up with going around in circles with no idea of what to do!  Life went on but there was no happiness in it, I felt like it was all existing and being confused.


Life can be a strange thing, it can bring disappointments and upsets but it can also bring much happiness and bliss. I concentrated purely on Jason and ignored David and that fizzled out.  Things with Jason got better, I appreciated him more, I enjoyed our time together more and it became less important that he had so many other interests because I enjoyed our time together so much.  Problem solved.


Got a similar problem. You need Charlotte Craig's guidance... you  may also go to the support piece and the   community threads.

Who should I choose?  Ask free agony aunt problem page.   charlotte craig