What is adultery? An article penned by the World's most popular leading free online agony aunt Consult her personally now. If you look the word up in the dictionary it will say it is when a married person is cheating and has sex with another person they are not married to. But it goes far deeper than that and - a lot more complicated than that. Having worked as a well known agony aunt for many years I have spoken to a lot of people who have committed adultery, or who would like to if they had the chance, or were the victims of being hurt by someone who did. Then there were the many men and women who had been the "other woman" or "other man" that the guilty party had lusted after and been with. Very often it starts with one person wanting to have some extra fun and it turns into them becoming confused, worried, torn in two, trying to be in two places at once, trying to please their original partner and their new interest, trying not to get found out, and then it leads to their partner and their new interest being upset, lied to, hurt, maybe used, angry, bitter, wanting revenge or wanting to dump the guilty person.
One interesting thing I have noticed - which is totally illogical, is that if a woman is in a dead relationship with a man where there is no love, no friendship, no sex, and they are both bored to death with each other and then the man finds another woman to have fun with the man's partner very rarely takes any of the blame, admitting that if she had been a more loving wife he would not have needed to, but she also does not blame the man, the person who made promises to her, and tries to push all of the blame onto the other woman, as if the man had no choice and had to go with her. Such women talk as if their poor husbands are totally innocent and the victim of this other woman. Then they tell their cheating husband that he is forgiven and feel sorry for him. Then their either watch him like a hawk, monitoring his phone calls, post, meets, how much time he is away etc. OR they get a nasty surprised when he does it again. And they rarely see that if they imprison him in the house and make sure he cannot get calls or texts or letters or get out enough to meet another woman that is not a relationship worth having. He is only being faithful because he has no choice, in his mind he is longing for the chance!
Personally, if my guy was there with me but wishing he was with someone else I would rather he go. Then they continue to make all of the same mistakes they made before that led to him wanting to be unfaithful in the first place. No sex or boring sex, no proper communication, no laughter, secrets etc. They talk as if their husband is a posssion that belongs to them rather than a man who is entitled to be happy, so they become lazy and do not bother to make him happy and then get angry when he does something about it. The mistake men usually make is to convince themselves that they were unlucky enough to marry a woman who does not like sex. When the truth is she simply does not love or fancy HIM. Then when he finds out she wants someone else he cannot understand why, if she hates sex! How about visiting our discussion board or the extra support ?
What is adultery?