The Single Life

The single life.  Years ago I set up a small forum which was specifically designed for people who are on their own and who prefer to live alone, with no interest in getting married or living with someone in that way.  Floods of people came to a forum and joined up but when I looked at it months later to see who had posted and why they had all gone on about how bored or lonely they were and how they longed to find someone to get married to or live with. There are people who love being alone just as there are people who live being part of a pair and both would admit there are good and bad points either way.


While you are  visiting how about going to the  message threads? and the   extra  aid/support?


Downsides to being on your own are probably that it can get lonely (so this might be eased if you have a large family or a lot of friends you see a lot),  that it can be a lot more expensive because you have to pay rent or a mortgage on your own and the gas and other utility bills are the same size as they are for those who pay half and are with someone else.  Hopefully it would not happen but if you were housebound and disabled due to an accident, perhaps on crutches, then being on your own would be more difficult than if you were living with someone who got the shopping for you or helped you do practical things and kept you company.


upsides are that you can come and go as you please, without  having to ask if it is alright and if you wish you can date more than one person.  You choose how to spend your money and can waste it, save it, invest it or whatever suits you.   You chooose your lifestyle, whether that is living with a dozen cats, painting your whole apartment bright red, eating vegetarian food or whatever.







People who are independent and like to spend time alone often prefer to be on their own rather than part of a couple, but most would admit to wishing they were part of a pair.  Those who are desperate to be part of a pair usually find out that if and when they find someone to settle down with they are still not happy.  Either your other person does not turn out to be so wonderful as they had hoped for or they realise that the lonely feeling they get comes from something within them rather than whether ore not someone else is in the room.


The snag is that the person you are hoping to meet will find you a lot more interesting and worthwhile to spend time with if you are independent and can stand on your own two feet.  If you exude that you are depressed, sad, unable to cope with life etc.  then they are far less likely to want you.  They will decide whether or not to be with you according to if you enrich their life, not just if they enrich yours.  


As an experiment I posted some messages on forums asking people who LOVE being on their own to contact me.  I received hundreds of replies but when they filled in the questionnaire 89% made it clear they were just making do until they got a partner - of those many of them made it clear they would make do with the first person who came along - very sad.The single life.


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