Should we get married? Shucks. There are so many different pros and cons to this argument I barely know where to start! Let us look at the pros...
John is in a good job and he seems quite settled there. He works just down the road so does not take long to get there and back and is home by about six in the evening. He never works evenings or weekends. He is a bubbly type of guy who tends to see the positives in everything. He is jovial at times when I would be sitting around worrying or have a long face. He tends to take each day as it comes rather than worryhing about what is around the corner. He is very good looking with lots of wavy brown hair, deep blue eyes, a nice smile, broad shoulders, slender fingers (he even gets his hands manicured once a fortnight) and a lovely hairy chest. He is ace at sex, he takes his time and is very gentle but he can also be imaginative and passionate and we love to do some role play and invent games to do together for some variety and to add to the spice. We are totally on the same wavelength when it comes to how to have fun. We both like to cook and we both go to a cooking class and practice at home together. We even like the same food as we are both very much into currys. He is a snappy dresser and likes to invest in decent, good quality clothing. None of that charity shop tat for him. He goes to the hairdresser and does not cut corner on shoes. Even when he is lounging about in his jeans and t shirt he looks good. He is tidy and never leaves towels laying around all over the place.If he gets out a book he puts it back on the shelf. If he doe some cooking he washes up straight away and puts it all back in the cupboard - in the right places. He can even fill the dishwasher properly.
John never drinks alcohol and never swears and he detests people who take drugs, he says they are weak and a waste of space. He also detest anyone who is unemployed and says they are spongers.He is very romantic and passionate. Sometimes he sends me naughty texts, sometimes passionate ones, sometimes romantic ones, sometimes ones that are just chatty and for a laugh. It is as if we are best buddies as wel las partners and lovers. He loves to hold hands and is quite happy to walk around the shops with me all day helping me to choose a new handbag or dress. All the other guys I knew would try to get out of it or walk around bored. He is generous and quick to buy me stuff and he pays his way with the bills. He never ever gets into debt.
Sounds good eh? Now let us look at the cons! He is too tidy! He puts everything in the right place but if I sit and read a magazine and put it on the coffee table he is quick to give me a dirty look and thinks it should be in the magazine rack straight away. He nags me because he says I spend too much money on clothes and I have now got a debt with one of the catalogues that annoys him. I tell him that most women do this but he says it is immature and irresponsible. He never wants a night out with the lads. He much prefers to be with me but I sometimes feel a bit suffocated by this and would like more time to see my friends.
We have been living together for two years and we rub along swell but there is a bit of me that thinks that if we tie the knot so to speak and have that piece of paper that says we are wed then things somehow change and get worse. Either he takes me for granted or I take him for granted or it somehow puts the mockers on it all and it goes downhill as from then, when it is working out quite well now. Why reinvent the wheel? Why fix it if it is not broken? John says that we are supposed to be mature adults and we might want kids in the future and we should be stable and settled for that. Where I cannot see anything wrong in me having a baby whether we are wed or not so long as we are in a committed and permanent working relationship. Sometimes John acts as if he is much older than his years and he can be too predictable and too responsible.
Have lost touch with most of my friends because John wants to be with me every evening and all weekend. If I try to insist that I get some time away from him it starts a row. It is easier to give in to it and give him what he wants and it is nice that he wants to be with me so much.
Someone told me you can go to places online where you find these free agony aunts you can get advice from - am not too keen on that idea - sounds a bot like having a natter over the garden fence with a nosey daft neighbour rather than speaking to someone who can really help you. But I am keen on the advice columnist Charlotte Craig who set up this and other sites because she has loads of experience and has been tested and is qualified. Only the best will do for me, no to free amateur agony aunts, will ask the online advice columnist Charlotte Craig for a 1 2 1 consultation on here because it is important to me that the reply really helps me and my situation. Should we get married?