Should we break up? This would be an easy decision to make if we were just rubbing along and I knew that I could easily meet someone else that I liked as much as Gary but this is so different and so complicated. Let us start at the very beginning....
My name is Lynn and his name is Gary. We are both in our early 20s and both thought we were going to live a fairly happy and non eventful life. We would meet up two or three times a week, have a fun time together and start planning something a bit more permanent. Then Gary changed all of that. He was always more ambitious than me and he was fed up with his dead end job at the m.o.t. centre.So he went onto one of those talent shows where you turn up and do your thing - either dancing, singing or whatever - and hope that they like you. He told me he was very nervous but he knew that he had no other chance of ever getting anywhere in life. So off he went with his guitar and sat and sung for the judges. They loved him and they asked him to go back. If we now fast forward he has been going there and wowing first the judges and now lots of audiences and has been offered record deals and a tour all around Europe which he jumped at. But this is where the problem comes in.
He will be gone for about a year and I am supposed to just wait a year to see him. These tours are so busy that they are working long hours every day, they barely get any time off, so there is no way he can fly back to me over here to spend time with me. I would find it really hard to go over to be with him as I have my elderly grandmother to look after - I am her full time carer - and there would be little point because he only has a snatch of time here and there anyway.
He has promised to phone me and text me but it means I am just waiting and waiting and then, of course, there would be other tours and other offers as he gets bigger and bigger and even more popular and he has to make the most of this while it lasts. For all we know he might last five years and only has five years to make some good money. He keeps telling me that I worry too much and should just go with the flow and see how it goes. That is fine for him but it is not him that is waiting and waiting.
My nan is a nice enough old lady but just to be stuck indoors with her while Gary has such an exciting and adventurous life is hard to swallow too. It makes me feel as if he has a fascinating life and mine is so dull. I worry that he will meet a girl who is younger or better looking than me or who can go where he wants when he wants cause they don't have to stay at home taking care of their nan.
We sat down and had a long chat about this yesterday and he said he thinks he loves me and thinks we will be ok. Thinks? I wanted him to know for sure! Thinks does not sound very sure or positive to me. Once he is away he will get all caught up in this excitement of travel, singing and meeting people and I will become just a memory, just a blur, yet he wants me to wait and he tells me he knows it is worth it. He has nothing to lose though. He is not putting his life on hold he is asking me to put my life on hold for him.
There is nobody I can talk to about this. My nan is too old to talk to about any worries, she is stressed and depressed already. Have not got any friends I can chat to - it is hard to get or keep friends when you work as a full time carer for your nan - young people do not see you as being particularly exciting or good company then. They get fed up with asking you to go out with them when you have to keep saying that you cannot go. I did think of consulting a clairvoyant but I will probably write to one of those online advice columnist people or ask free agony aunts on one of those professional advice sites. The online advice columnist is probably the best bet although I am also tempted by the free agony aunts you can ask - till I remembered that they are not really knowledgeable and are just guessing and being nosey. Choose one or more of the following now blackboard centre , gratuitous help , and private 1 2 1 words / support.