Relationship expert online. Having worked as a leading expert free agony aunt online for a long time now, I know that the one thing that most people want to talk to me above is their relationship or how much they want to get back with an ex or find a new partner. All sorts of people approach an expert asking for advice on all sorts of problems. Most of the clients we get are female, many of them are very young, and nearly everyone of them is either in a new relationship that is not going well, or interested in someone who is not so interested in them, or wanting to find a new lover. In a way it is not fair to generalise but there are two things that most women do that ruins their chances of a happy life and a good relationship and the main reason why they need advice.
One is to let their heart rule their head. So they might get involved with a guy who treats them badly, or has a drug problem, or is lazy and will not get a job, and they keep making excuses for him or stay with him simply because they are lonely or fool themselves that if the sex is good the rest will somehow sort itself out. Relationships are not that simple, this is why people pay experienced, qualified agony aunts for advice.The other is that they are in rush to be with someone so they latch onto someone who is totally wrong them them rather than wait for someone better.
Anyone who is sensible will tell you that it makes more sense to be single than be with someone who makes you unhappy. Yet very few do this.So, why do people want to talk to experts about their relationship problems and ask them for advice? Sometimes they are just letting off steam, other times they are moaning and thinking this complaining and getting sympathy will change things to the way they want. Even when it is clear to see that the only way they will feel better is to become more confident or to get rid of the person who is making them miserable. But instead they think that if they wait and see it will somehow all turn wonderful by a miracle or a nasty person will become a caring decent person!
Perhaps it is a single mum with a baby who has to think about the baby as well as herself, so any advice she gets has to take this into account. Perhaps it is a married man who has a wife and a girlfriend and he has two women and it is the women who are upset and asking for advice because of his behaviour? But a situation like that is complicated and opens up a whole can of worms. Such as why was the woman seeing a married man in the first place? Why was the married man feeling bored or restless and not happy with just his wife?
People turn to others and problem pages for advice on such things because they get confused and hurt. It is easier to make decisions about stuff like work, money, friends and hobbies because we can see things clearer and are not so tied up with it. Anyone who wants to get into solid good relationships should always remember this advice..
Be aware of what you have to offer and what your weaknesses are and work out what sort of person is suited to you based on that. If you have weaknesses, faults or problems then look to what you can do about them BEFORE you offer yourself to a future partner. If you are living with your parents and struggling with money then forget dreams of meeting someone who has a huge lovely house and a great job. If you are married and wanting to get away from your husband or wife then do that first, do not expect someone intelligent and interesting to be interested in seeing you in secret when they can do better. The only time someone is keen on a person who is already in a relationship is when they are damaged, lacking in confidence or just wanting fun now and then.
We have expert love and marriage forums here for you. Our best forum for you may be the one for all different types of relationships. We have advice column pages and we have lots of free guidance for everyone on all subjects but many decide that they need a professional's wissdom and consult us for a 1 2 1 session rather than use the advice column. Charlotte Craig, Author, more help - support / comfort Relationship Expert Online.