Relationship Advice column. Having worked as a leading expert free agony aunt online for a long time now, I know that the one thing that most people want to talk to me about more than anything is for advice on is their relationship.  All sorts of people approach an expert asking for relationship advice on all sorts of problems. Most of the clients we get are female, many of them are very young, and nearly everyone of them is either in a new relationship that is not going well, or interested in someone who is not so interested in them,  or wanting to find a new lover.  In a way it is not fair to generalise but there  are two things that most women do that ruins their chances of a happy life and a good relationship and the main reason why they need advice.

 

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One is to let their heart rule their head. So they might get involved with a guy who treats them badly, or has a drug problem, or is lazy and will not get a job, and they keep making excuses for him or stay with him simply because they are lonely or fool themselves that if the sex is good the rest will somehow sort itself out. Relationships are not that simple, this is why people pay experienced, qualified agony aunts for advice.The other is that they are in rush to be with someone so they latch onto someone who is totally wrong them them rather than wait for someone better.

 

Anyone who is sensible and intersted in love, dating, marriage and a relationship will tell you that it makes more sense to be single than be with someone who makes you unhappy. Yet very few do this.  I have spoken to lots of men and women who are very unhappily with someone yet somehow scared to leave.  Yet it would not be possible for them to be any more  unhappy than they are  already. So, why do people want to talk to experts about their relationship problems and ask them for advice? Sometimes they are just letting off steam, other times they are moaning and thinking this complaining and getting sympathy will change things to the way they want. Even when it is clear to see that the only way they will feel better is to become more confident or to get rid of the person who is making them miserable.

 

One of the snags is that where you have two or more people together no matter what you say or do and how reliable and honest you are you cannot guarantee that the other person will keep their promises or play fair by you.   You can only decide what you will do and this might or might not change how they feel . A qualified, professional agony aunt can advise you on that.Then you have the more complicated relationships where there are more than two people. Perhaps it is a single mum with a baby who has to think about the baby as well as herself, so any advice she gets  has to take this into account. Perhaps it is a married man who has a wife and a girlfriend and he has two women and it is the women who are upset and asking for advice because of his behaviour?  But a situation like that is complicated and opens up a whole can of worms. Such as why was the woman seeing a married man in the first place?  Why was the married man feeling bored or restless and not happy with just his wife?

 

People turn to others and problem pages for advice on such things because they get confused and hurt.  It is easier to make decisions about stuff like work, money, friends and hobbies because we can see things clearer and are not so tied up with it.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relationship Advice Column

 

Be aware of what you have to offer and what your weaknesses are and work out what sort of person is suited to you based on that.   If you have weaknesses, faults or problems then look to what you can do about them BEFORE you offer yourself to a future partner.  If you are homeless and unemployed with no money then it makes a lot of sense to get a job and somewhere to live before a partner. Not only will your situation put people off but people need to know that you are with them because of them, not what they can give you. And people who have a nice home and a good job are more likely to attract others who are sorted in their lives rather than those who need to lean on others themselves.  If you are married and wanting to get away from your husband or wife then do that first, do not expect someone intelligent  and interesting to be interested in seeing you in secret when they can easily find someone who is totally single instead.  Relationship Advice Column.