My Ex is Stalking Me

o I sought My ex is stalking me.  Please help me.... ask online advice columns.  Until this all happened I was quite happy and had a good life but my ex  has spoilt it.   We were together until about twelve months ago.  He and I had a huge falling out when he kept getting possessive with me.  He always wanted to know who I was with, where, how long for and why and he got very annoyed if he ever wanted to be with me and I was busy with other things or did not invite him along too.  If I went to work that was fine but anywhere else and he would expect me to prefer to be with him.  Then he wanted us to stay in all of the time because he got angry if another man looked at me or if I smiled at someone. He said this was flirting and encouraging them and giving them ideas.  Sometimes he would shout at me, other times he would sulk and once he hit me hard across the face just because I answered the phone and was pleasant to the double glazing salesman on the other end.  He said that because I was friendly and polite it gave him ideas that I wanted him and was available. I was just being polite.  Eventually everything became too much and I found I just had to end things with Rodney, or so I was told by the ask advice columns online!


We went off in our separate directions and got on with our lives - well this is what I thought.  Then I realised my ex was stalking me.  Before long I noticed that I was getting phone calls where there was no one on the other end. Just complete silence or sometimes I could hear breathing...and I knew it was my ex! Other times I found that the person would sit and wait and wait in complete silence as though they were daring me to end the call before them. If I left it they would stay on there silently for ages.  I tried to get British Telecom to trace who it was (they withheld their number) or to stop it and the best they could come up with was to change my number or block that number - which you can do even if they withhold it.  I did this but then whoever it was rang from a different number. Sometimes these calls were late at night and frightening. I need to ask for good advice. My ex was determined and kept on stalking me.


Then I received notes pushed through my letter box telling me things like YOU ARE BEING WATCHED or I HATE YOU always pasted using letters cut out of a newspaper so there was no handwriting. The messages grew in intensity and became more vicious. One said I WILL KILL YOU SOON. Of course, the police can do nothing. They cannot trace who sent them and it is not going to stop so it continues.


Then one day I was coming home from work and I spotted Rodney standing across the road watching the flat.  He tried to hide behind a tree but I definitely saw him.  A week later this happened again.  The notes I was getting started to tell me things like I KNOW WHAT TIME YOU GOT HOME or YOU WERE OUT TOO LONG  as though they were trying to control what I did with my time.  By now I had a good idea it was Rodney anyway and told the Police this but they cannot arrest someone without being sure and threats do not count.  They could not charge him with anything anyway.  One of my friends said the best way to go is to consult advisor Charlotte Craig on this site.  I may as well, nobody else understands and the people who have told me what to do talk rubbish. One is unhappily married so has no idea of how to make someone else happy. When an ex hurts you it really hurts, when an ex is stalking you it hurts more.


Over the months I have got to the point where I feel so uncomfortable when I go out and feel he is watching me that I now stay in.  When I get more notes being pushed through the letter box I find it is best to put them in the bin or put them to one side and read them later but they always worry or upset me. So I went to ask for guidance and advice and went to advice columns and friends for advice. I even though of taping up the letter box so that he could not do this but I need to receive my other mail. The police said even if I can prove it is  him it is not illegal to send someone such notes and he knows this. The court will not issue an injunction because he is not being violent.  Yet he is invading my privacy and upsetting me.   I have one friend who comes over and sits and chats to me sometimes but otherwise I am sitting alone in the evening with just my little kitten.  Somehow Rodney knows about this. I had a note pushed through that said WATCH THE KITTEN. HE MIGHT DIE SOON.  The police said they cannot count this as a threat, it is just talk.  I got sick of talking to other people I knew and could trust because although they were well meaning they had no idea at all. They would advise me to go to the police as if it could all be sorted very easily and quickly. If it was that easy I would have sorted it already. The police are not interested in threats or letters, it is not illegal. Yesterday the little kitten went out and took ages to come back, I was frantic with worry thinking something had happened to him, but he came back for his supper.  This kitten is now my best friend.


I now go to work and rush home and sit in my flat with the curtains drawn dreading another note. I very rarely go out and if I do I want someone with me.    The police said he will tire of it eventually but he does not and I am not living a normal life.  I get the milkman to deliver my milk and the shop to deliver my newspapers.  I try hard to cope but it is getting me down so much the doctor said maybe I should go on medication. What do I do?  I hate the idea of going on medication and would feel as if he has won then and is the victor and I am truly a victim. More aid here.  Ask online advice columns.




My ex is stalking me.