Make long distance relationships work - LDRs . Not such an easy task. But there againthere is no such thing as a relationship that does not need a lot of work and go through different times. At least with the long distance variety you do not get bored with each other too. My name is Charlotte Craig, I am President of The Association of Agony Aunts and work as a relationship expert.
I have done this work for over thirty years, helping famous clients and being praised by the Press, experts and professionals, I have also been offered radio and television work. Now you KNOW that what I say will make sense.
I never advise asking friends or people you know for advice. People often want to help but say the wrong thing or do not understand. This is why there is a need for professional experts who are qualified and trained. This site offers you hundreds of pages of online free help by experts. Qualified, tested and trained agony auntys who offer 1 2 1 private consultations. You can also use our forums here but beware that you share them with amateurs and childish so you cannot necessarily listen to their advice or thoughts. You need to turn to a qualified professional to be sure of that. This is the only agony aunt site that trains and offers jobs to advice columnists. If you think you would make a good professional advice columnist and this sort of work appeals to you then go to how to.
For the sake of this forum that gives these tips and advice about long distance relationships and how to make them work I am going to assume that you are already in a LDR or you have decided to definitely start one with someone you have met or will meet soon. Either way there is no doubt about whether or not you want to be in this long distance affair or marriage. Make sure that the pair of you have a deep, honest chat session, by phone or email if ncessary, but sort out some ground rules. For example, if your man is away working and very busy he may well insist that you do not ring him every five minutes, especially if he is driving or in business meetings. On the other hand he may also promise to at least text you quickly most days. At first this is fine but as time goes on it becomes a chore when it should be fun.
Remember that if your lover is away from you due to commitments and you miss them the last thing that will make them want to return to you and be with you is you interrogating them, nagging them, being suspicious, sulking or being boring and having nothing to talk about.Remember that no matter how much you love each other you must have a life that is separate from each other, not just pine for each other until you are together again. If you are going to get into a state and wilt when you are parted then this is not the relationship for you. If you are going to sit around twiddling your thumbs and just ticking off the days and hours till they return then either you need to get a life of your own which is separate to when you see them or this is not the relationship for you.
These only work when both are equaly interested and committed and nboth have a life of their own. When one is sitting around longing for the phone to ring or checking their mobile every few minutes to see if a text has arrived or worrying then it is a slippery slope which gradually just dies due to lack of interest, arguments or anxiety. There again some of the full time normal relationships go wrong because one wants to smother the other and be informed of their every move or be with them all of the time. This is usually because the one who wants to keep tabs on the other is insecure and feels that by imprisoning and restricting the other they have nothing to worry about when in fact it drives them away and makes them want to escape or cheat more. Most find a clingy person claustrophobic and boring and either walk all over them and treat them like dirt or runs from them.
Trust charlotte Craig; who is the founder and head of ask agony aunt, offering a free online service as well as a paid for 1 2 1 consultation.
Make long distance relationships work. LDRs.