Love problems, advice column, free agony aunty online. I have been an agony aunt for over thirty years. In that time I have seen, spoken to and written to a lot of clients who need sensible advice regarding their worrying situations. Most were females and most were concerned about a man they had parted from but wanted back, a man who they were with but who was "misbehaving" or a man they very much wanted to be with but who was with someone else. The ones who seem to be suffering from unrequited passion sometimes become so desperate they think of going to a psychic or clairvoyant and paying them to put a spell on the object of their unwanted attentions. I know that people get into a state over problems regarding their relationships and love. Most of the people who read our advice column online are worried about relationship issues, which is why there are hundreds of free pages here for you. You can also consult our qualified agony aunty experts for a one to one private consultation by email.
How does it happen? Why? What do we do about it? Believe it or not the way to solve any bad situation is to think logically instead of emotionally. For example, if you are keen on someone who is not keen on you (whether or not anything happened with them in the past) then either accept it and walk away, telling yourself that it is their loss not yours and if they are silly enough to prefer to be with someone else or without you then they are not worth bothering with. The more you moon over the person and try to change things the worse you will feel and it just puts off the ultimate of you having to get used to them not being interested. There are times when others want to be with you and you are not interested, if they sulk or hope it will not change it. The idea that you can force them to love you is quite selfish and nobody who loves someone would be that selfish with them. Love is about wanting someone to be happy, not making them do what suits you whether this be when dating or in a marriage. Most marital issues are caused by people wanting a one way street.
These problems are unavoidable when humans get together but if everyone is sensible about things you can cut down how many problems occur, how serious they become and how long they last. One lady I read about recently was aged 104 and had never had a man in her life at all, they did not interest her. She insists that because she has never been involved with a guy - or even kissed one - that is why she has lived a long life. As an expert on relationships and people I would say that it was not so much the not mixing with men that helped but not having the anguish and heartaches that many women suffer. When we get upset or worried it can age us and the stress it causes not only hurts us straight away but can affect our health too. Those who get badly stressed and find it hard to sleep or eat know it is affecting them. Those who become seriously stressed may even have panic attacks and find that this makes them ill. Set yourself free from the agony of things that are negative or upsetting. Always try to avoid such situations but when this is not possible try to end them as quickly as possible and if the person you are interested in is not interested in you or is not willing to help you to resolve things think seriously about how they are enriching your life. If they are merely upsetting you or wasting your time than admit it and move on.
Imagine that your whole life is 100% of something. Then ask yourself how much of that you give to relationships. Bright people share this 100% out amongst financial security, home life, family, hobbies and other things too so that if they have a problem in the love deparment it is not the end of their World and they have lots of other good things in their life to compensate for it.
Ask agony aunt has a group of experts ready to help you as well as our problem page, forums and advice column where you can swap tips and information with other amateurs. We wold suggest that you go to the problem page and advice column first and consult us for a confidential session if it is serious.. message board extra comfort /support here.
Love problems by Charlotte Craig A.A.A.