Love at first sight. Does it exist? Well in my experience - which is vast - no not really.  I often get male clients telling me that they first met the one they are troubled over and fell for her instantly on such and such a day. They then tell me that she had beautiful long wavy hair or long legs or huge breasts or some other physical features which meant that they instantly fell for her.  Note that it is men who say they fall for women this way not women for men.  They then go on to tell me that after they fell for this woman's looks they found out that she is a criminal or a cheat or a liar or very boring or very lazy or has some other serious problem that gets in the way.  This is  hardly true feelings for someone.  A mature person finds out about the person first before falling for them. They do not fall for them purely on visual terms and then decide they are not good enough for other reasons!

 

However, there are times when it seems to be acceptable to feel this way about someone. For example when a teenager is watching the television, listening to the radio or listening to music and they decide that they have fallen madly for the pop star who is singing. This is just as ridiculous when you think about it. They ignore things like if the pop star is married or has a girlfriend, or children, or that they will never meet the star or that they have nothing in common. The really smitten ones would then write to the star telling them how much they care for them and wanting them to write back and forgetting that the pop star gets hundreds of such letters every day and has no reason to be interested.  One of the reasons they are smitten by the pop star is because they are rich and famous. Well rich and famous people can choose  from lots of potential partners and are more likely to want to be with another rich and famous person because then they have things in common and they know they are not a gold digger.  If you were rich and famous and a poor ordinary person write asking to meet would you be interested?  No you would not.   You must also remember that the pop star's time is very busy and valuable. He rarely gets half an hour that he can spend as he pleases.    If he gets a few hours he spends those doing another gig or visiting family not meeting up with fans. I have had famous clients during my years advising people and some of them get quite angry about the demands made on them by fans.

 

Love is about wanting to be with that person no matter what and liking every thing about them. You cannot say that you are mad about their looks but hate their personality or behaviour, that makes no sense.  One of my most recent clients was a very old man who had been married twice.  His second wife he claims was his soul mate and the special one yet whenever he talked about their time together and what he loved about her it was always just her looks and sex.  If it had been so special then why did she end it and get a divorce?  The truth is that he simply missed the sex and did not really care for her at all, otherwise he would have tried harder to please her and make her happy.  They had very little in common and fell out over the way he treated her two teenage daughters.     Years later he still cannot see that he was to blame or at fault and he refuses to see that it was not meant to be.    So he looks through rose coloured glasses and blames the man that she left him for.   Yet the truth is that if she had been happy with him she would not have left or been at all interested in this other man in the first place.  Women rarely cheat due to just sex and it takes most women a great deal to cheat at all.          

 

If you think you have been smitted by the bug instantly think again and ask yourself if you will really feel the same about this person in ten years.  If so then maybe it is the real thing.  If you do not know them yet then it cannot be the real thing anyway.   In fifty years time that person will be old and wrinkly, if looks are important to you will this be a problem?    

 

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Love at first sight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love at First Sight