Leaving your husband. Once you were a blushing bride, so proud, so vain about how beautiful and tempting you looked. It was unlikely that you had saved yourself for the wedding night but it was still a special night. The festivities of dancing, laughing, chatting to all of the guests, wearing the lovely dress, the flowers, the ceremony and the vows all leads to this wonderful moment. Yet can you see that one day things will change? That one day you will be feeling the total opposite towards your spouse?
Today I spoke to four different clients doing private phone sessions with them. Each of them had been married to a man for at least a five years. Their various situations and stories varied yet the one thing that was constant was that each of them now regretted marrying and wished they had not. One of them had found out her husband had a mistresses, a much younger woman. Yet he swore blind to his poor woman that she was imagining the whole thing and made out that she was in the wrong for bringing it up. Another was with a guy who worked away from home and was away more than he was there. She had heard that he had been seen out with various women then and deep down she knew it to be true. Both of the others had similar pasts. They now needed the strength to call it a day yet I could sense that they were all hoping that their selfish husband would throw themselves at their mercy and promise to be good and behave from now on. One of them said to me "will he ever change and stop being a selfish cheat?" I felt so sorry for her yet she knew and I knew that he would never change and she deserved so much better.
Of course, this could be the other way around. We could be talking about some poor man somewhere who is going to leave his wife instead. But women do have to think of different things when they go. If they have children together they have to think of how they are probably more responsible for them than he is, especially if she is a housewife and he goes to work full time. In the case of the guy who works away from home he hardly ever sees his kids so he is unlikely to want to or be able to live with them. Then the person leaving has to think about what to do about money, if they have a job they can use to pay athe bills, telling their friends and family is the easy bit.
The pain they go through when they are feeling so let down by the person they trusted and loved for so long is hard to share with them but there is a bit of me that feels that it is best for these decent folk to find out their partners are not worthy of them now rather than later. Far better to call it a day now than throw more good years down the pan first. Now they know what they want and how things are this empowers them and makes them stronger so that they can then move forward and take matters into their own hands. I just hope that anyone in this situation has the strength to walk away and does not weaken and stay with an unworthy person. Women tend to look back to the past and feel emotional bonds which tie them instead of looking to cutting their loses or moving forward.