I was sexually abuse. This is a true account of something which happened to a lady we know. We know her very well, well certainly well enough to
know that she does not imagine things or make things up. She is not mentally ill and has not got a downer on men or any of the other things that people use as an excuse to find fault with the victim. We have got her permission to print this on this site. She wrote it and then we re arranged it slightly to fit and to improve the grammar and spelling. But she saw the final copy before we published it and is quite happy with it..... was sexually abused ... this is why I want to talk to an agony aunt online so here goes....
At the time of this happening I was aged fifty four. My boyfriend and I had split up a few years before and I was finding it hard to get into the habit of seeing people and going out. One reason was that we used to spend all of our time together - and I do mean ALL of it. He would get here first thing in
the morning and stay until very late and do that every single day. Yes he did work, he worked at night. Somehow he managed to spend every waking moment with me and work when he was not here. He rarely slept. He did get tired but he insisted he could cope and he wanted to do it this way so
that we spent lots of time together. But as he knew I also had a problem with a sort of agroophobia where if I tried to go out alone I would panic and
get shaky and feel sick and lightheaded and faint. If I have someone with me who I trust and I know then I am fine. So he used to take me to the shops
or to a restaurant and that was fine. But I could not walk to the corner shop on my own. If he was not there I was indoors until he was there. For years
he was my World. We did not need anyone else. We got on great until it all went sour. Then when it went wrong it went very very wrong and there was no turning back and I had to end it with him. But that also meant that I was then totally alone - no family, no other friends and nobody to talk to online or off line.... use some sense here... how could I make other friends if I found it impossible to go out alone?! So my World was now just being at home alone, which was horrid. And before you ask - no I do not have any family, I was really on my own. My World was so small that I had to get the optician
to come to me to do an eye test, get the library to bring books over and the supermarket to bring my food etc over. As to how I met my ex in the first
place - quite by accident when he came here to mend my boiler. As I think you ought to have worked out by now that the only way I could have met him was if he came to my home. If I came online and talked to an agony aunt it was nice but it not the same as a friend, an agony aunt is doing their job not choosing to spend time with or meet you.
After I had grieved for the relationship ending and faced the fact that it weas truly over and I now had to improve my life somehow I decided to try to
find a way to go to church. not because I am particularly religious but because I like to socialise when I can, chat to people, get out and have a good
sing. I rang our local churches and asked if they had any parishioners who lived near enough to be that it would not be putting them out if they picked me up and gave me a lift when they went. One of the churches said yes this was alright. And told me that a guy called Rodney was happy to do this
and bring me with when he goes to the Sunday evening service. A few days later Rodney phoned and asked if I would like to be picked up and taken that Sunday. He did not know about my problem only that I would have liked a lift. But to me it was great to get a chance to see a person and get out. I was going stir crazy being stuck in on my own and dying of boredom too. I could tell from Rodney's voice that he was an old man... never did I think he would sexually abuse me but it was not long before I was abused by him.
That Sunday he picked me up as arranged. He also had another passenger, another man whom he was giving a lift to. This other guy was a chatterbox who kept on and on and would never stop talking. But I was so glad to get out and be with people I did not care. The church service went well and I enjoyed it but I am sure most of that was because of getting out and just being with people for a while. It made me feel as though for a while my life was normal. Rodney then dropped me off and drove off back to his place.
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