How to Save

my Marriage





How to save my marriage. During my many years of  working as a relationship expert I have had hundreds of people coming to me asking me for advice on how to save their relationship.  The sad thing is that very often the relationship they are so desperate to save is not worth saving.  They are trying to hold onto something that was never really there or was there but has gone and can never come back.  Women tend to try to hold on to dead relationships because they hate being without a partner, even if he is horrible, or for appearances, or for practical reasons, men very often hold onto dead relationships because of sex or money.  Some men will go so far as to try to hang on to someone who does not really make them  happy simply because they hate the idea of cleaning their home themselves or returning to an empty place when they have been at work all day.   Others try to hold on to useless and negative relationships due to habit or laziness.


The second mistake a lot of people make is to try to hold together their relationship without thought to why there are problems with it.  Look to the real reason, do not say something like "we are going through a terrible phase because my husband cheated on me" because him cheating is NOT the reason.  You need to realise what the reason was for him wanting to cheat on the first place.  If you do not then if and when he gets the chance to cheat again he will, no matter how much he may have promised you he will not.  You also need to ask yourself why you want to hold on to someone who does not love you or respect you when you can find someone who does.  Do you think so little of yourself that you cannot imagine a decent person wanting you?  If you are trying to hold onto your partner because of financial or practical issues is this really the best thing to do?   Maybe it would be better to make a clean break and have less money or material possessions but be happy and calm?  


Are you making mistakes now?  Putting up with a bad situation?  Needing help. Qualified experts can guide you here now.


No matter why things went wrong and how YOU feel unless your partner also wants things to work out they will not.  It takes two to make a relationship but it can take just one to end it.    If you feel that your partner can be won over or wants to try again then make sure that you get together for an open and honest chat about what went wrong and what you both want as individuals for your future then you can mend it .  If children are involved then it is very  important to make sure that you find a way to move forward - together or individually - that takes their needs and what would make them happy into account.    BUT despite what some say please do not stay together with a partner that makes you unhappy simply because it may be best for the children. The children will not want you to be unhappy, nor would they be able to live with themselves if they one day realised that you had been miserable for years for their sake.   One day they will be making a life for themselves and you will hardly ever see them, and then where does that leave you?  It is easier to break away and make a life for yourself when young.  So long as the children are able to see both parents and see they are happy they will be happy too. 

Less and less people are interested in or getting married nowadays.  I could explain why but it would be changing the subject and take ages.


If you value your relationship and you want it to last fine then try hard and do your best to save it but many do end in divorce and sadly we have to accept that fact.


Either we got together with the wrong person or one or both did not work at it hard enough.


If it works out great. If not then ask yourself what went wrong so that when you meet someone else you can avoid the same situation happening again one day.


Maybe things will be even better in the future and you might meet someone who can make you happier than you have ever been.


If you go about things the right way maybe you can stay friends and at least salvage that. if the rest fails.


Our bulletin board is here  -  ther are also pages and pages of suggestions/ help


How to save my marriage.