He is taking me for granted. How you deal with this depends on how strong you are, how patient you are, how desperate you are to stay with this guy, how sexy you are and how clever you are. It also depends very much on which way he is doing this. Usually with men they can either start to think you are only there for sex, start to assume you are only there when it suits them when their work is finished and their friends are all busy, assume that you are there to pay the bills or lend them money or for doing housework. Some - the really greedy ones - try to take advantage of you in all four ways. Then there is the age old story of the partner wanting to play around and have someone else or act like a single partner yet be your partner too. Many women simply forgive their guy all of these things and then keep their fingers crossed that they will change. Others get fed up with the whole thing and end the whole relationship. If you decide to stay does this mean that you have low standards or that he is something special? Prefer to have your own consultation with one of our very best experts just click here.
The first thing to do is to ensure that you are not imagining any of this. Believe you me we often get people who contact us and tell us that their partner is abusing their love and then we find out that they are imagining it or expecting too much of the partner and the partner has done nothing wrong at all.
To be fair to your mate also ask yourself if he has changed. If he was always untidy and it now annoying you ten years after you met and found this out then you are being unfair to expect him to be any different ten years later. If it is something as simple as him being untidy then just leave the place to get in a mess. He will soon tire of it if he comes home to or lives in a tip all day. But if you keep doing it he will just let you keep doing it.
If you know that he cares about you and needs you then you can easily sway the balance of things by being less available, less interested in spending time with him or counter act whatever it is he is doing with you. So - if he is very keen on sex all of the time tell him you are too tired because you were having to spend hours doing the housework and ironing and if you had had some help with it you would have had more energy. The carrot and the stick so to speak. If he is forever watching television and expecting you to get up and get him meals and drinks and only wants to chat to you when the advertisements are on make yourself scarce so that he has to get his own nibbles and has no company inbetween the interesting bits. The worst thing to do and it is what most women tend to do as they go onto auto pilot instead of thinking rationally - anger and a feeling of injustice get in the way - is to nag them and moan at them, lecturing them and then demanding they are different and making them make promises. Never threaten to leave or end this, it makes you sound silly and it either it does not work at all or only temporarily, then you have to back up what you said by going.
I had one client who was fed up with her husband never ever being romantic with her so she would stand over him with a rolling pin demanding that he wrote her love letters. She would then proudly flourish these and read them over and over again as though he had meant what they said. It totally escaped her notice that he was only doing them under sufferance and hated every second of it. He not only did not mean any of it but he got to hate her more and more for making his decisions for him. He is taking me for granted.