Getting your ex back.... I did an online consultation for a woman recently who was desperate to get back with her past lover. But she had been very unhappy with him when they were seeing each other. He was controlling, possessive, angry, with a bad temper, he was also the type of man to think it was alright to tell lies, mess around with other women and neglect her for days on end. She had been with him for fifteen years and she had not enjoyed any of it. He would go around to her place with his washing and she would wash it and iron it for him, present him with delicious home cooked meals and lots of sex. For days on end he would not bother to contact her or see her yet he also made it clear she was not allowed to go out or have any friends. He then found another woman and went off with her and lost interest in my client. But if she had sat and thought about it she had been silly to stay with him for such a long time and was better off without him. She did not love him, she only wanted to get back with him because she hated being single and she was angry that he had dumped her.
If you are sure you really do want to turn the clock back and get back with the person you used to see then there are a few things that you should never do. One of those is to constantly ring them, send them texts, send them emails, go around to where they live, watch them, ask other people where they are and what they are doing and investing a lot of time into something which is now dead. The best way to get things to how you want them is to act as if you do not care. Act as if you do not mind. Act as if you are happy. Go out and have a nice time with others. Do not hang around the phone or stay in or be available. If you bump into or speak to your ex then do not say you miss them or that you are lonely or miserable, do not show how bad you feel inside because it wil only make them feel very special and important and it will give them permission to make you wait or treat you mean or walk all over you as if you are a doormat.
Sometimes although relationships should be about love it ends up being about control and who is in the driving seat. If you know someone mises you or will do what you want it is easy to take them for granted and not treat them with the respect they deserve. If you are elusive and keep them on their toes they try harder. It is a great shame that you you have to manipulate people into behaving the way you want and deserve sometimes. A person with a lot of self respect and self worth would not stay in such a situation. They would prefer to be single rather than clinging onto something which is dishonest and dead and they would see that it is only putting off the inevitable because how ever much you try to cling onto something which is dead it always escapes you eventually. It is not worth having and you can never keep it forever. Forcing someone to be with you is short sighted and selfish and you would never do this if you really loved them.