Does he really love me by free online agony aunt. Sean has told me many times that he loves me and perhaps this is why there is a problem. It is almost as if he is protesting too much. The more he says he loves me the more I doubt it, he seems to go overboard with it all. There are lots of men out there who could say this and mean it but I have never met them or got involved with them so it is all hyperthetical. Sean has met and got serious about us and taken it to the next step where Sean is constantly reminding us of how much I mean to him. After all is said and done the important question is - does he really love me? or is he lying?
With anyone else I would be happy when Sean says it but whe Sean keeps saying it I feel that he is somehow trying to convince himself, or Sean saying what feels needs to be said rather than how he feels, going through the motions rather than saying the truth about his feelings. Then it occurred to me that I can get advice about this for free online. Why not? Some people write to an agony aunt others go on their computer to get the same thng, and to consult one personally is far quicker and better.
I do not believe that Sean cares about us but this might be due to lack of confidence, lack of security, lack of self esteem or it might be that I have sensed he is not being honest, which is it? How can one tell? I could be totally wrong about whatever I believe and then in a year or so I realise I was wrong and a fat lot of good that would do me.
So I am going to continue to doubt Sean and that way I feel safe. If I doubt him but I turn out to be wrong and it turns out Sean did love me I have gained something but if I say that I believe him and then it turns out he was lying I will feel dreadful, hurt, let down, used, miserable, so this guess is the best guess to make, the safest guess to make, the one which hurts the least if I am wrong. Nobody can possibly say which is best, nobody else knows him as well as I do, they can only guess too, so I may as well guess the one that is safer and suits the best.
I predict that in a year or so I will know if I made the right guess! Hopefully I will be glad I did what I did. In the meantime I will enjoy a year with Sean and work on making him happy so that if he does not mean it now he means it if he says it again then. Call that my insurance policy if you will. Who knows how things will be a year from now, that time can fly by quickly or it can go very slowly, it can be full of a lot of different things or nothing at all, but I do know that one has to make decisions and plans for it to have any possibilities because without plans and decisions nothing ever has any chance at all.
Then another way to look at it is to ask myself if it really matters whether Sean cares about me, maybe the way Sean thinks and his motives are far less important than what I get out of our arrangement and I do get a lot of out it. Sean takes me to nice places, he treats me well, Sean listens to me and pays attention, he is always there and there are times when Sean is terrific in bed, fantastic sex, mind blowing sessions, fantastic kisses, gorgeous hugs, holding hands, taking time to cook us nice meals, taking time to send flowers, writing love letters, sending notes, phoning when missing us being together, so much that there is to be thanful for, yet I still have this need to know how Sean feels about me, to know if I am special to him or if Sean just sees us as something which is a nice habit and goes through the motions , or perhaps one of those guys who is too lazy to find someone else or cannot find someone else - which is worse, as to be with someone simply because you canmot get someone you prefer is pathetic. Hence I wonder and wonder and wonder. Does he really love me?
For wise guidance go here. Lots of people have problems. There is no shame in admitting that you need help, it is silly to continue to suffer when the help is there for you. For more guidance that costs nothing. Or you can read some words of wisdom here. by the Free online agony aunt.
Does he really love me?