Dating an older guy. You are reading this because you are a younger woman dating someone who is older than you or you are a younger woman who is considering it. Perhaps you have dated older people in the past or you know someone who has?
Having worked as a full-time professional agony aunty for many years I can tell you that yes there are certain problems that can arise from dating someone who is older but there are also a lot of benefits and quite often when someone says that their age gap relationship did not work they are simply seeking an excuse and it had nothing to do with it. I personally have lost count of the number of men who have told me that the reason their relationship did not work out is because of and then state an excuse such as their age, height, hair colouring, job, none of which makes any sense when you think about it properly. A typical excuse is that their penis is to small. When they say their age it might have been that the woman realised that the older guy is quite old for his age, a fuddy duddy, wanting to be tucked up in bed with his hot water bottle early and not very much fun. No doubt that man was just as boring when he was much younger! We receive lots of letters from clients who are concerned about their own age gap problem or are worried about someone who is a friend or family. You can email us now... an agony aunty will respond very soon. You can also get costless help here. And you can go to the threads. You can get a person who is mature physically and his date of birth says he has been on this planet a lot longer but they might still be naive and unwordly and have no more knowledge than the person who has just left school. If you only want to sleep with the person then maybe it is only whether or not they are fit and healthy that matters. But even when you are sleeping with them you might want some intelligent conversation or a sense of humour.
I was once pursued by a very old potential lover who had nothing in common with me at all yet when I told him no he wanted to believe it was because he had a wooden leg rather than because of his personality, age or attitude! The wooden leg was certainly another reason to say no but not the main one. His arrogance in assuming that being twice as old as me was one of the main ones. Some who are mature are sensible and have a lot to offer but being of a mature age is no guarantee. Free advice can generalise and cover many variables but it is always best to consult a qualified professional personally if you can.
What a younger woman might get from being able to date an older man will vary but in the majority of these relationships she is seeking a father figure. Usually she denies it and insists this is untrue, but if she is seeking someone who is stable, wise, tolerant, patient, kind, gentle and helpful that is the role a father would normally play in our lives. She may also forget that there are down sides to this age gap. Perhaps he has a problem with his hearing, eye sight, rheumatism, arthritis, general fitness, maybe even alzheimers? Perhaps he is set in his way and sticks to a rigid routine? He might hate crowds, parties and noise. He may be used to women who are empty headed and be disinterested in women who can think for themselves, preferring a woman who is ornamental or functional. Maybe he is or will become impotent. He probably has children from a past relationship but if he has to still see his ex partner that can hurt. He may have problems with money. Do find out everything you need to know about this person before you make any commitments to him or get seriously interested. If you just want some fun then get stuck in and do not allow yourself to fall in love! Whether you choose lovers who are older, same age or younger there will be problems and compromises so do not let this put you off if this is really for you.
Dating an older guy by the aunty.