Date with a guy.  This is one of hundreds of helpful articles written by  qualified experts for women on this site.  Most of the people who read this site are women, usually young and usually looking for someone to date or already with someone whom they are dating.   Older women are more likely to be in a solid and serious relationship where they live with the guy or marry him and dating is no longer a part of their lives.  

 

Fifty years ago people dated with the intention of ending up married and probably having children and creating a family unit, now people date for all different reasons. Some for casual sex, some just want a fuck buddy, some want lots of different partners, some just want one night stands and one off meets, others become swingers and go to parties, swap partners, others are desperately wanting a serious relationship but find it hard to find someone who is also that serious, especially if they have baggage they carry forward from their past that would put most people off.  Women who have a tiny baby or a lot of children are less likely to be able to find a partner than women with no children at all, and they have more freedom to come and go and move around.

 

A lot of my clients who contact me want advice about dating either for the first time or after a long term relationship has gone wrong and they are returning to the dating scene.  The truth is that things have changed.   When I was much younger and started to date guys would take me out at least a dozen times before hoping to hold my hand!  Then they would bravely ask if it is alright to kiss me good night and talk about us getting engaged before there was any mention of sex together!  You would be hard pressed to find such a man now.  There are men out there in their seventies who expect you to promise them full sex within ten minutes.

 

The important thing is to decide what sort of dating YOU want to do and what sort of man or men suit you and not just follow what others do or do what the man wants.  I met a married man at a club recently and he nagged me to meet him for a drink.  It was very obvious he was hoping it would lead to sex.  When I said no he got very nasty and verbally abusive and said I am a shallow bitch who has low standards.  The truth is that he was wanting to cheat on his wife,  he was too mean to pay a prostitute to meet him, and he was hoping to save a lot of money by going with me instead.   If he had offered me money for sex I would have been insulted.  But thinking I would do the same thing for free was more insulting.  He was mean and shallow and lost his cool when rejected.   It is because I have high standards and will not date married men or players I said no.  Most of the really big heartaches that come to women come from dating the wrong man and dating a married one is far more likely to result in heartache than dating most single men.  

 

Very often when someone turns to me for support through their crisis with a relationship I see that they simply did not have high enough standards when they chose their "partner" in the first place!  They get together with a person who is  too lazy to work,  terrible with money, has a drinking problem or a violent streak,  cheats a lot or whatever and then wonder why he does not become the person they would prefer him to be and change into a different person.  If you do not want a partner who is lazy then do not choose one who is.  And it is no good saying that you will get him to be different. Even if he promises to be different why would he keep his promises and how does he break the habits of a lifetime?  He is more likely to dump you and find someone else.

 

There are lots of ways our agony aunty can help you.  For one you can get   individual help.  For another you can get a lot of  costless information  -  you can also use the excellent  community blackboard   if you prefer this to the agony aunty.

 

Date with a guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Date With a Guy