Cougar dating. Another one of those modern sayings that is catching on. Have you heard of chubby chasers? Men and women who prefer the larger partner? Now we have toy boys being seen as the natural choice and those who prefer to go out with a modern, mature woman. Not to be confused with a gold digger going out with a sugar daddy!
Usually the toy boy offers a fit, lean, attractive and healthy body and in return he wants a female who is also fit and healthy but older with more experience in sex. Strictly speaking though not just any female can class herself as one. A true one is experienced at sex, enjoys sex, attractive, sexy, modern, broadminded, uninhibited and fun. She is far more likely to hold down a very well paid career than be unemployed, she dresses well, she has some class and sophistication. An old soak laying on a park bench, a single mum who has let herself go and dresses very scruffy and spends all day with a baby are not cougars simply because they are older.
The term is not just about age but also about attitude and personality. The term is attached to an animal because these women are seen to prey on or need younger men as lovers and they find it easy to attract men as lovers. As such they have high expectations. Not for them a quick fumble in the back of a guy's car. They expect a good night out, some romance, flowers maybe, attention and respect. They love sex but they can be fussy about who with without going without. They know how to have fun and they are popular. They are not aging slappers, they have a lot to offer. Many make the mistake of thinking that any female who reaches a certain age is one, but this is not so, she must also have the attitude and lifestyle of one. Madonna, Joan Collins, Cher and Barbara Streisand are cougars. Women who can get a young man based on their looks, personality, attitude, not just their fame and money. If a young chap thinks he can just offer her sex he is unlikely to get any takers. She has heard it all before and she can snub such offers without losing out on worthwhile offers. Someone as well heeled as Joan Collins would make sure that the other person is also charming, attentive, smart, good looking, well dressed and well heeled himself, otherwise she would feel like she is also being a sugar mummy and he is just a gigolo or loser and she would not enjoy the company of someone who has no intelligence or brains anyway.
Advice columns are full of stories of women who have thought they were one and gone with a younger guy, then been fleeced of their money or found out he is married. The real thing has a lot to offer and is always in control. We have received hundreds of emails from them many of them where the lady has regretted meeting him and then found the price was too dear. Either he becomes obsessive or has nothing to offer or is too childish. The toy boys I have had trying it on with me have always fallen in the group of boys pretending to be men. Living with their parents, no job, no money, no qualifications, just wanting a woman for sex and no idea about things like paying bills. They would have had to save up for a year to be able to take you out to the cinema for the evening. But they are not looking for love or for someone to settle down with (just as well) to them it is all about fun.
Any guy who gets it into his head that he wants to date an older partner should be warned. These females are fussy, she can choose any man she wants. She will not make do with one who cannot take her out properly, or who is unattractive, inattentive, boring or stupid. Yes the sex is important but if he is just after sex she will fall off her chair laughing. He should also be able to cook her a good meal, write her a love poem, be a great conversationalist and be able to look after her other needs. The young student who lives in a tatty bedsit is not going to get such a popular and special female. She is not going to slum it and make do with a tatty bedsit when she can get lovers who have a lovely house and a fast car. It might not last, it probably will not, but it will be a lot of fun and if you really love it and her and can offer her as much as she offers you then it could last a long time. But do not let yourself go to seed. You will soon be replaced if you do.