Coping with

Divorce for Women

This article is entitled coping with divorce for women because it is usually women who use ask agony aunt online websites and free agony auntie. But you can also read another article called coping with divorce, which might be of help to women and men.


Women do have different problems to men when they go through a divorce.    Each woman who is getting divorced will have different problems, depending on how much support they can get from loved ones, their finances, their living arrangements, what happened, whether or not they have children and the age of those children if they have them, how resilient they are and how good they are at being positive and solving problems.  You could put several  people in the exact same situation and one would become neurotic, another would cry all of the time, another would see it as a challenge and spend every waking moment trying to do what they can to improve things, another would just lay in bed feeling beaten, and another would talk about it non stop without moving forward.  


Of course, the one who would end up happier, at  peace and with the most security the quickest is the one who does what they can.  The others might get sympathy but no more and in a year or so may be in the same situation or a worse one because they are not problem solvers or pro active. One client I had recently told me she had been married and divorced three times but that none of it had been her fault. Until she sees that a lot of it was her fault and learns where she went wrong and which mistakes not to repeat she will end up with more problems.  You may say eh?  How can you be sure that a lot of it was her fault. Easy.  If she married guys who were cheats, users, liars, mean, boring or whatever they were her choice, she should be more picky about who she weds and stay single until a beter one comes along. If a man cheats yes he is in the wrong but why did  he?  I have known of circumstances where the man does this simply because the woman keeps refusing him sex and is very cold or boring when it comes to that. He may try to discuss it with her and eventually he gets fed up with it and stops trying with her.  Maybe he was not very good at it but then she should have found all of this out before they got wed or sorted it out with him after.


Those who can safely ask loved ones should but if you feel that your "loved" ones are judging you, interfering, finding fault, criticising you or pushing you towards something that would suit your ex rather than you, then you need someone else to confide in if possible. For those who cannot turn to family or friends the best choice may be to consult a reputable, famous, qualified agony aunt.  For those who cannot afford to consult someone privately then use forums for free. Many consult these pages for free advice, more consult us privately for a personal one to one consultation that specifically looks at their unique situation.  We help women and men.


Women often have to worry more about the children and whether or not they are working and have enough money coming in. Usually the man is already in a full time job and does not have to think of this. If the woman was a mother/housewife then she might be worried sick that she has no money to pay for essentials. If she has taken children with her and left then she has to make sure she has somewhere to live that is safe and comfortable and large enough for a few people to live together.


If the woman was seeing another man and this is partly or the whole reason why the marriage went wrong then she has to re evaluate how she feels about this guy and whether or not there is a future with him.  And they must be very  honest about why she felt the need to see another person in the first place.  In a good, fulfilling, loving relationship nobody would feel this need. If she merely ends the second relationship that is not facing facts and not putting things right.  Seeing another person is not the problem it is the result of the problem, a symptom.


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Coping with divorce for women.