Child abuse....by email an agony aunt online advice columnist. Those who love them and have a maternal or protective instinct towards them will find it hard to understand that others can be cold or even cruel to them.  There are different forms of cruelty and neglect which they can suffer and they have the huge disadvantage of not being able to just pack their bag and walk out of the front door like we think an adult can. Depending on the age of the off spring involved and victimised they have far less options than a grown up has.   This is the main reason why people tend to disbelieve or have very little sympathy, if any, for an adult who says they are being bashed about. They think they can just leave. An agony aunt or advice columnist could sink their teeth into each individual case, but we have to generalise here. You can email one of the experts here for free or paid online help.

 

The worst form is probably neglect because it can kill and it can take a long time, too long, for others to see it is happening.There have been some eye opening and riveting books written by the victims of such behaviour, they term used for such books is "misery books" and a few years ago they were coming out all of the time, although some were proven to be fabrications or greatly exagerated.  But to not feed, not wash, clothe or love is a way to which is slow but sure and it also erodes any confidence or self worth they had beforehand. They tend to assume that if their parent or guardian decides they are not worth caring for then they must be evil, unloveable or somehow worthy of such terrible treatment. It can take many years of therapy for them to shake off this notion. Being the victim of child abuse is not easy to deal with and cannot be sorted alone. The truth is usually that the parent or guardian is mentally ill and would target whoever is available to them at the time.

 

To beat or physically hurt a youngster is awful but with that there are marks, bruises, burn marks or something that others can spot. Though the very careful perpetrator tends to make sure that the marks are not visible.     Our community group which is full of clients, an agony aunt or advice columnist are available for you to email for help and awaits you.        

 

But there is also sexual child abuse where the child is a victim of a pedeophile or, which is probably worse, an opportunitist who tends to want to sell them to them, either taking photographs or actually selling their body to them.  They can then end up with awful disease and they would probably go stark raving mad anyway as they get passed around and just used as a husk to please others.  If the pedeophile is clever and has spent time grooming them they may not even see them as an abuser but as a friend or more.  The facts about this are that more often than not the young victim sees the groomer as some sort of caring person rather than a user.  Some people can be very naive about these things and assume that a scout leader, teacher, vicar or other person  in a situation of authority must be there to do good. Some of them are there for ulterior motives. We have just had a scandal where Sir Jimmy Saville was supposedly wanting to help children but was really just using them for how own sexual gratification.  Some were aware of it and others were not. But his position was one of trust and he abused it.  There are many others out there who are similar. An advice columnist or agony aunt would email a client with individual advice but you can go to the forums for free support.

 

I have given up asking myself why people are so mean and so nasty to others, there is no real answer because the World is full of misery caused by humans.  But there is treatment available to the victims of such behaviour if they can be caught and saved in time.  Unfortunately, I have met many who say they were going through a terrible time when younger and then proudly boast that it has not affected them mentally or emotionally and they themselves cannot see how it really has affected them deeply. They may themselves be bullies, they may become cold and unable to love or trust anyone, they may drink a lot or take drugs, damaging behaviour to themselves and those around them or whoever they come into contact with.  And they do not join the dots and see that their behaviour today is caused by their treatment years ago.  They are damaged people who are crying out to be accepted and loved but very often unloveable because of their present behaviour. Then they get an urgent desire to find a partner or lover when the only possible potential partner who would want them the way they are is another damaged person who is similar to them. They would have to be repaired before a normal person found them of interest. This would probably work if they did not get it into their head that they are alright as they are and will be  "cured" when they meet a partner and expect their new lover to want to and be able to do it all for them.

 

A childs view of the World can become very confused and distorted when they should be innocent and enjoying life but are seeing horrors and evil instead.

 

Have you got a nasty situation you need help with? Speak to Charlotte.  Alternatively you can also get no fee help here.

 

Child abuse. Email an agony aunt or advice columnist online.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Child Abuse