Agony Aunt

Cheating Man

Cheating man.. Finding out that your guy is lying and has been unfaithful is awful but what if he promises you that he will never do it again? Is he genuinely sorry? Or is he just sore that he got found out? But why did he do it in the first place? If you are grateful that he stays with you and sweep the rest under the carpet then it will probably happen again. For one thing HE should be grateful if YOU stay with him, if he has been unfaithful. It should not be a case of you hoping he chooses you. After all he let you down, he lied to you and he neglected you and the reasons he did it might still be there. If he did not love you and respect you enough to be faithful before what has changed?

Then we have the scenario of you meeting a guy who has a partner and wanting to cheat with you. He wants to lie to his partner and sneak around to spend time with you. But what is in this for you? If you just want fun you can get an honest and available man for that. If you want love you can find a man who is totally single and less likely to be devious.  Our dear agony aunts site receives thousands of mails from clients who have been let down and hurt by a cheater.  They can get free online help here but we cannot cancel what has happened.

Everyone has different views and how much they put up with will depend on how lonely they are and how much they rely on the man but usually women who have a lot of confidence do not forgive an unfaithful guy or take him back. They would sooner be totally single. They also would not end up being the bit on the side to a man with a partner. One guy I chatted to who had a partner and was looking for a secret girlfriend told me that he never tries it on with woman who are beautiful, very sexy or young because he knows they will just laugh at him and tell him to get lost. He targets women who are older and less attractive because he has more chance they will agree.

The worst type of player are those who are with a partner but pretend they are single. I have spoken to men who think it is alright to move in with a woman - maybe to even get engaged to her or wed her - yet still meet other women as though they are totally single. Of course, if they can get away with it they lie to the women they are meeting but they are saying they are single even if they are living with her and have children with her. When a guy who has a partner asks you to see him he has a cheek but at least if he is being honest you can make an informed decision. If he pretends to be single or separated then he is trying to lie his way into your bed because he knows that most women would say no to a man with a partner. Many men with a partner seek out women who have a partner as they assume that she also has to be careful about being found out and will not nag him to leave his partner or spend more time with her because they are too busy with their husband and normal life. They see spoken for females as fair game. They think these are the ones who are experienced and desperate for more affection / sex. They see these women as being in the same boat as them. Spoken for and bored and needing extra fun. But usually if a female is with someone and she is not happy with them she is more likely to end it rather than stay and then play around. Even if she is tempted she is more likely to be seeking love and protection or an escape rather than just sex.  Their minds and their needs and the opportunities that come their way are totally different to how it is with males.

Cheating man

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