Caught cheating by ask agony aunt. If you have ever been caught and found out for being unfaithful to your partner you will know that it can mean tears, shouting, anger, questions and the start of a lot of trouble. Which is why most people try their best to and rely on the idea that they will never be found out. Some really do try hard to make sure of it and others leae it to luck. Some try hard but are so amateurish at it they make terrible mistakes that lead to being found out.
One married man I knew - who had a lot to lose if he was found out - was silly enough to take out a girlfriend to a local restaurant that was within walking distance of where he lived with his wife and sat in the middle of the main window with her holding her hand and whispering sweet nothings to her. He knew loads of people and had lots of friends who could have walked past and seen them! Another married guy, who had a very important job and had to stay married because of his job, wrote lots of very intimate and revealing love letters to a woman in an attempt to convince her she should sleep with him and was amazed to find out that she then sold them to a national magazine as proof that he was a wannabee cheat and pestering her. Of course, his wife found out and was was publicly humiliated a he lost his job and some close friends. Both of these situations could have been avoided by being happy at home or being more careful.
Surely anyone who is unfaithful or thinking of being unfaithful should think on this..... to be happy at home with your partner is less work, far easier and much safer than sneaking around and telling lies. Very often a guy who has two women ends up losing them both in one way or another. The girlfriend gets tired of being the other woman and goes off with a single man and the wife gets fed up with being lied to and neglected. If the guy somehow ends up leaving the wife for the girlfriend he usually repeats the same mistakes, attitudes and behaviour again and ruins that new full time relationship too! If he has a habit of falling in and out of love over and over, or changing his mind, being selfish, or just looking for sex where he can get it then none of his relationships will last. If a man cannot satisfy one woman how can he satisfy two?
Women who are unfaithful are different. They are more likely to be seeking out someone to talk to or someone to love them than sex, which they can get off of their husband but do not want with him. If the woman is independent financially she is more likely to leave than cheat. Men are quicker to forgive and forget when their partner has been unfaithful because instead of getting angry they look at what they do not want to lose. A typical guy in this situation will decide he is better off forgiving it and keeping her than losing her and all the benefits he was getting from being with her even if this is something as cold blooded as not wanting neighbours to talk about him or not wanting to lose his home and have to move into a smaller place. Very often if they have children he simply wants to stay with her to be able to see them a lot not to be with her. But of course he will tell her that he loves her and needs her and wants to be with her because that sounds better. Most of the women I have spoken to who have betrayed their partners have regretted it and did not get what they were looking for from it where men generally speaking are more shallow and will be happy with simply getting sex. But there are some really wonderful guy out there that cherish their spouse, where they want to be faithful and even if they get offers and could go off the rails and be with another or others they have no desire to.
Nobody "belongs" to you as if they are some sort of possession. It is not a case of how you own them and they have no rights to do as they wish. Nor that someone else who goes with them has stolen them from you. They should care about you and love you enough to choose to be loyal. But if they do go elsewhere it is them to blame not the other person.