Being the Other Woman

Being the other woman by free online agony aunt advice column..  Just about every woman on the planet has been approached by a man who is spoken for and married in the hope of her having a fling or a relationship with him. In my view such men are very selfish  because they have a lot of fun at the woman's expense.   Many of them will admit to at least being tempted by the idea and many of those who have had a fling or a relationship with a spoken for guy have regretted it.  Very often they get caught up in the idea of this guy being madly in love with them or paying them a lot of attention, or they fancy the sex, or he takes them out and treatse them well with presents OR the do not have any self esteem and do not think about the consequences later. Being the other women is hard. Ask any of the agony aunt advice column or pages, whether you pay or get it free. A column can tell you a lot for free but a proper professional will help you more if you pay them Hence Charlotte Craig is a very popular agony aunt who helps with 1 2 1s and an advice column free online and off line.


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A tiny percentage of women can actually enjoy having a fling with a married guy and walk away from it unscathed.  These are the ruthless ones who go with famous men and then sell their stories to the newspaper or go with with rich and generous guys and know the married guys have to be more generous than the single guys.  Then there are the women who sleep with the married guy whilst all the while planning to blackmail him or seeing other guys behind his back.  He can hardly complain about her having another man or men if he has a wife at home but in my experience he uses the excuse that he loves her and it hurts him a lot and tries to make sure he is the only one and has one set of rules for himself that are different to the rules he wants her to follow.  The bet way to get a married guy more interested or to take you seriously is to withhold sex until things are as you want them to be

because most of them will just tell you what you want you to hear and then change their mind or turn out to be "unreliable" later. A  woman who falls in love with the married man can then end up being the other woman despite hating it.


The mistress who suffers and regrets getting together with their married guy is the one who believe in love, who are faithful and want the man to be all theirs and faithful to them too.  They long to be his wife and not just a secret meet.  They live from meet to meet and long to hear his voice on the phone inbetween meets.  They cannot phone him or go to his home. The guy might genuinely love them but even so he is still short changing them and taking

a lot more than he is giving. A woman who thinks with her head instead of her body or heart is far less likely to get into these situations. Some women

get into these situations and then write about their problem to a forum agony aunt but often the harm has been done by then as they are madly in love with the guy and he has already hurt them a lot.


Years ago I  had a client phone me for advice about her extra marital affair. Other clients come to me for free online help.   It was a public holiday and she was sobbing, sitting there with a lot of tablets and alcohol and threatening to take them.    It turned out that not only had she fallen for a married guy but this guy had chosen to go off fishing with his friends when he could have been with her for the weekend.  Such a woman would only lurch from one heartache and disappointment to the next if she dates a married guy and she was not strong enough to cope with it.  A strong woman would not have got into such a situation in the first place!  If you are single and believe in love and commitment and a married guy asks you to go out with him then surely it is better to say no at the start?  It is much harder to end it after you have got to know him and this is what he is banking on.    If you are saying you will only have a fling and then leave it why bother?  And when do you decide to end it then? You will probably keep saying next month, next month, next month, and it will never happen.  He will then rely on you  waivering how unhappy you are because he promises things will change in the future or because you love him so much that you just cannot pull away. The truth is he has no right to expect you to sacrifice your life to make his life rosier. Only see a guy who is spoken for if it is on your terms and if you make sure you keep an eye out for a good single guy too. If you are just after sex and you are strong great,  but then surely you may as well charge money for the casual sex, many do.  Do you  really want to go with a guy who only wants you because you do not charge and the others do?


I have known of many cases where the guy is kind, caring and considerate (or appears to be) at the start and then when the girl has fallen for him he starts to not bother to ring so much, keeps her waiting ages for a meet, does not turn up when he said he would - without letting her know - looks for someone younger or sexier behind her back, yet continues to string her along while it suits him.   This is one reason the girl ends up so distraught and upset because she will not know whether she is coming or going!


Being the other woman by free online agony aunt advice column       charlotte craig