Agony aunt online... advice columns... Some call them problem pages. The thing is do people actually bother with them? Well I know one lady who reads them avidly each week and gets hold of any she can. But then she gets confused because, according to her, one magazine tells you one thing and the other contradicts it. She actually wrote in to one of the newspapers asking for help with an issue and waited and waited and it took over a month before she got a reply. Because, of course, these people who work on these pages are very busy and receive lots of pleas for help. But by the time she received her reply she was not really interested anymore because she could not wait that long and had already made her decision before their reply arrived on her doorstep. That is one of the downsides to writing to such a place and asking them for help. Because they do not charge anything they get hundreds of pleas every day and you have to wait your turn when you write to an agony aunt online. She was also interested to see that the quality of the reply was lacking. Her question had made it clear that she was all alone in life and did not know what to do about something. Five or six weeks later she receives a reply that tells her she would go to a close family member to discuss it! Common sense tells you that if she had someone like that to talk to she would hvae gone there first and probably not needed to write to the other one at all. There were various things that were mentioned in the reply that showed that the person writing
it had note taken proper notice of what she had said and asked in her letter. To get a consultation just click on it.
Do remember that the name featured on the page of the magazine or newspaper is not the person who replies to you. It may may Claire Rayner, Marjorie Proops or Deidre something but they get a team of people to do it for them. The well known person or the celebrity mentioned on their page is just there to give you confidence and draw you in. They cannot afford what the celebrity would charge and the celebrity would be too busy doing things that are more interesting. They offer the service so that they can then pluck out the most weird or interesting ones and feature them in future editions. I have done work for the Daily Mirror so I know a lot about this. You can see some of it featured on this site.
One of the reasons people come to us for help is not just that they want someone who is qualified and experienced at advice (sadly most who write for newspapers and magazines are merely writers and not qualified in giving advice at all) but they also want to get that help quickly. They do not want to have to wait a month or so for a reply. They also want someone to deal withit properly not skimp over it and repeat things wrong. If they have a serious issue such as arguing with a spouse then it must be resolved urgently and it cannot wait and wait until the other person eventually has time to fit you in. With us you are our number one priority.
What other options have you got other than speaking to those near and dear? The other one which many opt for is to go on to the free forums and post about your various grievances. We have seen these postings on the forums and wonder why people bother - to be honest. You could place a post there today and pour your heart out to all and sundry. You can then wait a month and not one person bothers to reply. Or you get one person who laughs at you and calls you a fool and another one who is aged about twelve years and has no idea whatsoever and thinks they somehow know all of the answers. So you might be asking the World and it's mother whether or not you should dump your cheating lover and a twelve year old pontificates and tells you what to do. Someone who has no sense, no experience of life, who knows nothing about being in love or sex or relationships and has no idea of if you and your boyfriend are well suited and should stay together. BUT it makes them feel important to write back so they do. You might as well just draw straws then or toss a coin for all the good it is to you if they bother to reply. Or you get one of those Einstein types who is obviously a book worm and an adult but who goes on and on about how he has hurt you (like you do not know this already) and how he is out of order(surely not) and how you should tell him how you feel. (wow. If only you had thought of this). And there will always be someone who says you should forgive him and give him another chance. This is the reply you get from a cheater who hates the idea that if they are caught they are dumped. Most of or all of these people are on that site because they are seeking guidance so they are hardly the wise ones. Problem solvers NEVER need to ask others (especially strangers) for advice.
And whatever your situation you deserve better than trusting strangers who you know are no brighter or more knowledgeable than you. Just toss a coin if that is sufficient, you would not have to bother to post or wait then.