Affair Secret

Affair secret by ask agony aunt.  Having a secret relationship can be quite exciting,  the idea of slipping away to meet up with the other person, wanting to be with them, to hold them and kiss them and have sex with them, finding ways to text them or phone them.  It can make you feel wanted, young and keep you on your toes.  But when you have to keep it a secret it is also a strain and it can be a huge worry. For those who are not good at keeping things hidden or who like to share what they get up to it can be a huge difficulty.  You can ask for no charge help here.

 

Women are probably the worse off for this as it is usually women who like to get together with their friends and gossip about their love lives.  This is one reason why people ask the problem page agony aunt and she is popular.  An agony aunt gives someone a way they can share their experiences and get support and ask for advice without having to worry about it ending up going all around town or having everyone at work or in the family finding out.  But it is also great because the professional advice columnist does not judge or lecture, criticise or find fault.  They also are on your side.  You can keep it between just you and them safe in the knowledge that they care about what is best for you and what will make you happy.  Can you imagine if you went to your husband's sister about your illicit affair?  She would either be looking out for her brother and castigating you for cheating on him or it would leak out and get back to him. If you need to consult Charlotte Craig just click.

 

To get into such a relationship with someone you fall in love with can be very difficult because you often long to spend more time with them and not have to see them in a discreet way. If you are thinking of getting into a secret romance then  remember that after a while the initial excitement dies down to nothing.  Then what?  Will you then wish you had not started this?  Will you want to end the affair?  Will the other person just accept it if you tell them that?  Is it possible it will get more complicated and you will want to be with your lover all the time?  Will they want that too?  Look at why your marriage went wrong and ask yourself how you can be sure the same thing will not  happen again.  Incidentally we have a terrific message board for you here.

 

The easiest hidden relationships are those that are long distance.  When the other person  lives very near you or is single while you are busier than them that is when complications and problems usually arise.  If it is just sex you are after it is far easier to sort out your marriage than it is to find someone who wants to meet you on the sly and who does not let you down.  If you still think it is best to have a third person in your relationship remember ti will damage your existing relationship and it will not solve what is actually wrong with that relationship.  One day that second relationship will end and you will still be unhappy.  

 

An agony aunt would tell you if you were to ask that where two single people trying this find it hard for one or both to be with someone already means that this is far easier and far more exciting for them.  It does not guarantee that it will last or be better but somehow knowing that the other person is sort of thinking about them (well they like to think they are, even if they are not) and that they want to hear from you again and see you again make it all worthwhile.  If you are in a very boring relationship and you have to day dream and fantasise to keep going then knowing someone will be sneaking off to contact you or see you when they can can make a big difference. Yet even  the most perfect extra marital relationships rarely last because real life gets in the way. You have all of the variables such as children, work, family, health and maybe even moving that can prove disastruous.  It may well work out fine if both have quite a content and busy life when apart but if one or both want more with each other then they find it fails.

 

If you have a very busy career and are constantly travelling about or with clients, working,  looking after children or something else which tends to take up all of our thoughts while you do it then it is easier to cope with being away from someone you are keen on but you still ought to think about how - if you are single - you are being short changed if you make do with someone who already has a full time partner they live with or are married to. Even if they are fond of you their obligations and time mostly go to this other partner not you so you get short changed and when the chips are down if they had to choose theywould choose them, even if this is only because of duty or appearances.  It makes more sense for a very busy person who is single to find another very busy person who is single because at least then you would both be receiving and giving equally and you would be able to see them more because they are able to be more flexible about their times and see you when the married person would be too busy with their wife or family. It also has a lot more chance of having a happy ending.

 

Secret affair by ask agony aunt        charlotte craig