Advice on Love

Advice on love.  This is the most popular subject we get asked about.  Why?  Because it is over these things that they get upset and confused and then emotionally in a state. 99% of the mail we get here from clients asking for help is about their relationships, people they care about, sometimes where they care but the people do not care back, which is maybe why there is a problem.  Unrequited feelings where we feel very strongly for someone and they care very little or nothing for us hurts a lot, it is probably the worst sort of pain one can feel.  It also knocks your confidence in yourself because you wonder why they do not feel the same.Sometimes you try to change things, you look for ways to get them more interested or keen when maybe it would be better to simply accept  that it will not work and move  on.  You can change your looks, the way you behave, what you do and many

things about you in the hope of becoming what the other person wants but surely they should want the real you not someone you pretend to be.  If you would like to consult one of our excellent advisors go here. It does not have to be about love, you can get advice on any subject.  Advice is always valuable but love is the subject that comes up more than any other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Any agon

 

For women who ask - Never bother dating a married man or guys who already have a partner. He may be totally miserable with his wife and there may be genuine reasons as to why he has to stay (at least temporarily) but that is not your problem and no reason for you to live a lonely half life living in the shadows where you have to rely on him to keep promises.  He made promises to his wife once and he broke those.  Any agony aunt would warn women to avoid at all costs. Make sure you find out all about him before you go  to bed with him or fall for him.   It may be fun to hop into bed quickly but the guy loses interest and loses respect for you when you do and then you cry to your friends about how you were used. Anyone can be wise after the event.  Maybe being single does suck and it is not much fun but it is more fun than being with someone who is unsuitable or who is just using you or messing you around. If the guy says he must stay because of financial reasons then he is choosing money over being with you full time and he would still choose money in a year or two.  Do not make the mistake that many females make of assuming that because your last one was a bad one all guys are bad or because your last one as great all guys are great. They come in all shapes and sizes and attitudes. Some are lousy and nobody should touch them, others are lovely.  You may have been unlucky or lucky in the past but that is no guarantee things will be the same in the future.  It is wise to be wary of being used or mistreated but it is not a reason to shun all men.

 

Why not go to our excellent ROMANCE message board? Ask the best  free one by an agony aunt online.

 

For men who ask - If you are unhappy at home with your wife with a bad or no sex life then the best free online advice is to sort it out or get a divorce or separation. No woman who feels confident in herself and values herself and who does not have issues of her own would go out with a married guy or sleep with one.  And surely you deservethe best, better than a woman who lacks confidence and has issues?  Most women who are silly enough to agree to a thing with a married guy are the ones who are seeing a psychiatrist for mental health issues.  Is this good enough for you?   No matter how unhappy you are at home with your partner that is not a reason to mess around. For one thing no decent woman with a brain would bother to have a relationship with a guy who is already with someone else, she has serious issues if she does. For another it does not solve the original problem. You would soon find you are trying to please the original partner as well as the new one and finding them both pulling in different directions and very difficult to please either of them let alone both. After all when you only had one to please you failed!  Then if the original men or wife finds out about the secret one it could cause you lots of serious big problems and there is no turning back. You could up with nobody and nothing, not even your children.  

 

If a man is lucky enough to have two women and see them both and get on with them both well then how long can this last?  The best free advice online says that one day the first one finds out about the other or the other wants more.  If the second secret one is married she is probably looking for someone to come along and whisk her away and save her from a horrible or boring  husband.  Very few married women are  happy to be a bit on the side to a guy forever and if they are they can easily get a single guy who has a lot more time and is a lot more available when it suits them. Some men go searching online for free casual sex!  They think it is better than paying a call girl or paying  in a brothel. And some of them are lucky enough to be offered such free sex. It makes it easier to cheat now that they can sniff around online.

 

We find that most of the problems and issues that arise with couples who are dating because one or both have not been fussy about who they chose in the first place. They choose someone they have little in common with, where they are poles apart, and where there is nothing on offer and then try to change the other person or moan about how the other person is lacking. They rush into something and then complain.  It is almost as if they think this other person is the only person in the World and if they did not grab them quick and make the most of them they could never ever get anyone else.  We have spoken to people who complain that their partners are too quiet and want to stay in all the time and how they want them to change and become loud, noisy, chatty. In other words they picked the wrong person!  Or the person is taking drugs, drinking a lot or gambling and then they think they can just demand that they stop.  Even if their terrible choice of a partner wanted to stop they would need professional help and could not just stop instantly when they click their fingers. If you do not want a relationship with someone who is an alcoholic or druggie then do not pick someone like this in the first place. Do not use the excuse that they have a lovely smile or were going through a bad patch or need you to help them, stay away.  It is best to be totally single and without anyone than it is to throw your lot in with someone who drags you down or is inadequate.  If you have a desperate need to be with someone and you would rather be with someone unsuitable or inadequate than be on your own then that means there is something wrong with you, low selfish esteem at the best.

 

You can see more here.           charlotte craig

 

Advice on love. Ask best free agony aunt online advice.